Monday, January 28, 2008

whenever it snows in Seattle, all the inappropriate-type drivers in their inappropriate cars try to go down the road VERY FAST, especially on the interstate. We cautious stay-at-home types enjoy the evening news, therefore.

Where I learned to drive, it was cold and icy for 6 months of the year, with large intimidating piles of snow to boot. You HAD to have snow tires. You LEARNED to turn into the skid. You were in an inevitable roll-over at least once. You drove VERY SLOWLY, especially when there was zero visibility and all you saw were the little reflector things by the side of the road marking the miles. You wore many layers of clothes, in case. You carried flares, in case. It was just life, man.

Then I moved here and what the f---??? In rain, drivers slow down and squeek along, whatever. But, hey, snow!!! We own a 4 wheel drive!!!! We can go VERY FAST, even though our wheel base is 14 feet in the air!!! And we look so stupid hanging up-side-down from our seat belts by the side of the road. On the evening news, yeah!

What I really wanted to say is that there was a guy on tv last night who was 'stretch man' cuz his skin was waaaaayyy stretchy. He could pull his neck skin over his face, yikes! There have to be some possibilities for him, I think. He could wrap his arms around his girlfriend 2 or 3 times. He COULD pin his ears to his lips for an interesting costume. He could, literally, be beside himself. ( How's Andy? Oh, he's beside himself on the couch and I'm having to get out the vacuum.)And inagine his other unmentionable features, I'll let you go there.


turdpress said...

Imagine being able to tell someone to get their head out of their ass and mean it.

beth coyote said...