Tuesday, September 27, 2022

Been back a while. Boy o boy, kicked my ass. The mountains were beautiful. Lake Chelan is the deepest lake in the country and about 60 miles long, glacier carved and fed so it was cold. Yes, I went swimming. Once. VERY COLD but so clear, could see the bottom. We did trail work everyday, hiking in 3 1/2 miles to the site and 3 1/2 miles out. My feet hurt, My legs hurt, my back and arms, well you get the picture. We ate massive amounts of carbs. 

Anxiety is my new friend. Well, she's actually been there forever but newly expressed. Not fun. Waves of anxiety from outta nowhere then...nothing. It's annoying, to say the least. 

All my clothes feel tight. I lost 10 pounds over the last few years but I think it's all back. Who cares? I do. I hate wearing clothes at all and when they feel tight, I get grumpy.  Again I say, who cares?

Fired off another paper to chaplaincy today. This one about the precepts. The book, Being Upright by Reb Anderson was excellent. I massively underlined and highlighted. May have to read it again.  What are the precepts you may ask. They are a guide for living with heart and skillfulness, y'know do no harm-which is impossible BTW.

Last night I had dinner with one of my dear gay boyfriends. We were talking about series we love and we drifted into talking about The L Word, a silly Hollywood style lesbian soapy series. I disparaged the series because it was SO unrealistic. Fancy beautiful model type women with their dramas and the like. Yuck, hardly real. But I loved Queer as Folk, gay men all the time (in Pittsburg, surely NOT a gay mecca) who were being, ahem, very sexually active a lot. A lot. Anyway.  

And I learned this: he LOVED The L Word and hated Queer as Folk because of the representation of gay men being indiscriminately sexual with whomever. All the time. Ok, fair enough. On the other hand, the women talked to each other and cared about their relationships. 

So. this morning on my swim with Clark, my main gay boyfriend, I inquired about the two series (as a scientific experiment) and he SAID THE SAME THING. 

Then I asked Kenny, my gay boyfriend neighbor, and he LIKED Queer as Folk and never heard of The L Word and wouldn't watch it when I told him what is was about. 

So there you have it -2:1. I have my new friend JR, the millennial in the sample size to ask. He's probably never heard of either series. I will get back to you about this. 

I mean what does it all signify? Absolutely nothing, I'm sure. Except that life is a great mystery.

"To live in this world you must be able to do three things,

Love what is mortal, hold it against your bones as if your life depended on it

and when the time comes to let it go, let it go."

                                                                             -Mary Oliver

A grasshopper walked into a bar and the bartender said, "Hey, we have a drink named after you!"

The grasshopper relied, "You have a drink named Steve?"

Wednesday, September 07, 2022

Here is an example of a rakusu, a Zen bib that we hand sew. Hope that helps. 


When I get back from the mountains, I will tell you all about it.

This morning I got up at 5:40 AM and went to the lake for a swim with Allison. In the water, we watched a gorgeous sunrise. I came home, picked all the grapes and prepped them for jelly. Then I made a blueberry pie. 

I offer each of you a big slice. 

Monday, September 05, 2022

 Dear friends-

I am frankly stalling. I leave for my mountain trail building week on Friday. The grapes are all ripe at once, of course and I have to pick and prepare them for ?? jelly?? when I get back from the mountains. I've been harvesting thyme, drying it and grinding it up for use. And I promised a blueberry pie to friends before Thursday. My rakusa is coming along (all hand sewing, mind you) and I have to write a paper or two before I leave. Ghaaa. 

Anxiety rising in this moment. After writing to throw myself into my darling lake. Fixes everything. 

Wedding plans coming along. Diane is the queen of organizing, unlike me. Well, I managed to get in an application for a spot on the lake, a bath house with a nice little beach. 

Eden will do food, no music except for Clark singing. Very simple please. Our rings came and they're very pretty. 

After we say 'I do', everyone can go for a swim. I know I will. 

I can feel the plant world withdrawing into themselves as fall approaches. Can't you? 


                        Woods                  by Louise Bozan

I part the out thrusting branches and come in beneath

the blessed and blessing trees

Though I am silent

there is singing around me

Though I am dark

there is vision around me

Though I am heavy

there is flight around me