The grapes are all gone from the vines, the raccoons have ceased eating my hot tub cover for now and the calico is again upstairs with me. Now she's in my office with cat food, litter box, etc. Makes the room smell yummy.

I have an iphone with a purple/pink cover. It's ridiculously easy to use. Plus I can have a ringtone of crickets. Or ducks. Or a motorcycle. I have a harp. Brinnng, brinng, brinng.

I'll pretend I'm a fairy princess and that's how I get waked up, with a harpist in the room doing scales.

Me-fairy princess with tiara and a cat sleeping on my head.

Our last baby weighed 10# 6 oz. Sheesh. Aren't women AMAZING?

I'm going to get a new phone. The cover keeps falling off my current phone so it is attractively held on with tape. Well, I keep dropping it. oops.

J is making me oatmeal for lunch. After an all night birth, it is the only food that will suit. Like Scrooge in Christmas Carol, sitting with his feet in the fire, eating gruel. Oatmeal, food of my people.

Geoffrey Launt

-------11/26/2007

I'm going on retreat til next Tuesday. To the silence of the dripping rain forest. I'm even bringing rain pants. I hear the retreat center has a bunch of new trails because they've added some acres to their property. We will still pee in a bucket and the shower room is aways from our little cells where we sleep.

I love it when my friends wish me well and hope I come back all restored. Yup, I'm going to contemplate my personal darkness but I'll be perky about it!! It is strangely restorative. At least I have to be honest about my various dysfunctions.

May all beings be well during the monsoon season.

Tomorrow night the writers get together and I have nothing, nothing, I tell you. Instead, I am sewing pajamas for the fam. I think the last time I did piping, it looked better, neater. I have ripped out several seams. Oh, I'm using patterns I used before and there are no directions. Have you ever made the fly part on pajama bottoms without directions? See? It's tricky. Because I don't have a, um, penis, I'm having trouble imagining how big to make the slit so you can get your hand in, pull out your unit and pee without getting pee on your hand/pajamas/floor etc. I think my mother had to gird her loins (her expression) when she went into the 'boy's bathroom" to clean it. Because boys (and untrained men) pee everywhere. Yick.

I just have litter boxes. Many litter boxes.

I once tried to eliminate litter boxes because the little darlings went outside. Ha! They peed on plastic, in plants, on anything on the floor. And they will pee/poop in the garden, regardless. Next to the tomatoes. Lovely.

By the way, I'm redoubling my efforts to find a home for miss thing upstairs. She slept on my head last night. On my head.

The effing raccoons have peeled off strips from my hot tub cover. And they are chewing on the edges. Eat the effing grapes, you idiots. They have some nutrition at least.

"Get some drinks. Get cigarettes." (from an Agatha Christie mystery, The Wrong Man)

Uh-oh. The calico is roaming the house, much to the chagrin (and much growling and posturing) of the other cats. 'but she just came to me and patted me with her clawless paws. Uh-oh, just say no. No to 4 cats, no, no, no.

The calico is here. Upstairs. She's skinny but eating and she greets me when I open the door to the studio where she has a heating pad bed, water, a litter box and meals. My cats go up there and stare at her.

I went to a friend's house for her birthday and walking up the stairs I stopped to heft a heavy bag and turned to look at the railing because a turkey was sitting on it. The railing. A live turkey. I said, 'Well, hello.' The turkey said nothing. She apparently came from a neighbor's house and she's dinner in a few weeks. When I left after the party, I plotted liberating her. I figured I could put her in the front seat of the car and then put her in the basement until I figured out another strategy. Like what do turkeys eat? Do I have to protect her from raccoons? Or cats? Will she be lonely? Should I get another turkey to keep her company? What is the life expectancy of a turkey? Can she be outside in the winter/rain/cold? Should I make her a little hat because she is, uh, bald?

I'm obviously losing it. I want to save all life. Now.

The turkey wasn't around when I left. I looked. I think I need professional help. Well, I have professional help but perhaps I need an intervention. Real soon.

Don't forget to brush your tongue. Almost as bad as raggety underwear if you have to go to the hospital in an ambulance.

Acupuncture is not for sissies. Jasmine put a needle in my chest, deep throbbing pain. But I don't think I have a heart condition any more. I think she fixed it.

Happy birthday to my 2 Scorpio sibs. May you swim in good health and economic largess.

I put my sweetheart on the train to Portland so early I saw the beautiful glorious sunrise and the sparkly Cascade mountains. Sometimes I'm knocked out by Seattle. Last night we walked along the Sound via the sculpture garden and Elliot Bay Park as it got dark. More heavy purple curtain with orange light around the edges. Huge freighters waiting by the grain elevator. West Seattle off in the distance. A bicycle with neon tires that changed colors. A neon & sign revolving over Love & Loss. And we're not getting pounded by rain.

Another mess of leaves to rake.

We ate at Plum last night, my new favorite vegan restaurant. We tried the mac 'n yease that was so good I wanted to lick the plate. Creamy and slightly spicy, oh yum. I asked what was in it. The waitperson said, "Oh, yeast and vegan cheese (yetch) and secret ingredients." How could vegan cheese taste good? It's nasty. Anyway, the chef is not revealing her secrets. I'm gonna experiment at home. I'll let you know how it goes.

Starting to write again. My new plan: 1. semi-retire. 2. move to Olympia, buy a house in the woods. 3. Open a spa for women. 4. Practice midwifery a little. 5. Write and meditate in my studio surrounded by trees as a fire crackles in the grate ( Ala Charles Dickens).

I woke up last night because hail was blamming the skylight over my bed and it was effing loud. Then lightening and thunder. I wondered if the skylight would 'fail' and I'd drown in falling glass, plaster and rain.

Today, Hugo and Lola went to the vet. They were not pleased. They both peed themselves. So my car smelled lovely. Then they moped around in the clinic room with wet tails and feet. They made sad kitty meowing sounds, sorta like, "help, I'm being tortured over here, please rescue me from the evil person I live with. She didn't even let me eat this morning, hhhheeeeeellllpppp, meeeeoowwwww." I visited the calico who is eating and drinking and recovering.

Hugo, who has been on a diet, has gained 2 pounds. He now weighs 17+ pounds. Great. Now he's on another diet. They all are. No wonder I can't move my feet when he lies on them when I'm in bed.

I could have exercise-induced asthma (or a heart condition). I choose exercise-induced asthma. My naturopath bounced around the room, as she usually does but after hearing about my family history, she got all serious. We skated over the mental illness parts of my family. It is November and the 2nd anniversary of Geoff's suicide coincides with Thanksgiving. Pisses me off. Thanks a lot, Geoff.

If you live in the Northwest, take a lot of vitamin D. It cures everything.

Today in better news on the kitty front. She's got a bit of a kidney problem but probably because she's dehydrated...and so far, that's all. The vets are keeping her for 10 days cuz of the bite issue (see below) and they said for free they'll keep her (thanks be to gawd) so they'll give her more fluids and get her to eat and she's being polite and curling up on her blanket in her kennel. Her eyes are green, very green, and you can see her beauty even tho she is starving at the moment. The vet said she could even hold her own with my devil cat Lupine even tho she doesn't have claws in the front.

They'll all be so cranky if she ends up here. Lola, Hugo and Lupine. I dare not. They outnumber me. They're here all day while I'm at work. They'll take revenge. Anyway, three cats is too many and four cats puts you into another kind of category (har, har, stupid pun). I don't want to be the four cat person who smells like, oh, litter and 'cat' and is covered with hairs all the time. No, no, no. It's bad enough now.

Continuing kitty saga: it cost a lotta money at the vet today with calico kitty. And she bit the vet tech when they were drawing blood so she stays for observation for 10 days. She only weighed 5#. Hugo has her beat by about 10#. If she doesn't have bad kidneys or a thyroid condition or kitty HIV, well then. We'll start looking for a home for her.

I can't have 4 cats. I can't. I can't be that kind of person.

This morning when I took her to the vet, I sat on the floor beside her and cried when they left the room to get their IV stuff and shots. Blubbering.

Alright, so I was leaving school and a scrawny calico was staggering by, doing the sad kitty meow. I mean scrawny, all bones. Green eyes. No collar. Some folks across the hall were trying to figure out what to do so I joined in.

She's upstairs in my studio, the only room with a door. She has water, fancy wet food, dry food and a fluffy bed with a heating pad under it on low. And a brand new litter box. I sat with her mournful self and she has been declawed. ARRRRRRGGGGG. I shouldn't jump to conclusions. Maybe she got away from her person who is frantically looking for her. And her person keeps her indoors. And her person adopted her after some ninny declawed her.

Anyway, she's terribly skinny and I'm at a loss now. I can't have another cat. I can't. I'll let her wait a bit and recover on her heated bed. Then I'll find a no-kill shelter to take her to.

The other cats are all looking at me. As if they didn't end up with me for the same reason. They're all fat and glossy. And frisky. And they get catnip. And they sleep on my bed. What's their problem???

One trick or treater last night was a 4 foot cop, complete with hat, badge and TICKET. He gave me a ticket and I gave him a Tootsie Roll. Dang, If it was only that easy. Next time I'm pulled over, I'm gonna give the cop a lolly pop.

I had 4 lighted pumpkins on my porch last night. And the moon coming through the pin oak branches. I stood on the sidewalk for a while just to admire.

Then me and Patti watched Nightmare Before Christmas. Perfect. Just perfect.