Friday, November 27, 2020


Eden is here and we are making 200 (?) aprons from giant rolls of fabric which she designed and had printed in advance of her cookbook. There are agents talking to her and all. I don't know anything about this. I just agreed to make aprons and let me tell you, I am exhausted. We have made two patterns, I borrowed a second sewing machine, we quickly figured out we need twill tape instead of rolling hundreds of yards of fabric for ties and we're about to order electric scissors because you can be crippled after cutting and cutting and cutting. Plus our working surface is the floor so there's a lot of stooping and bending and kneeling. Eden made knee pads from ace bandages and socks and blue painter's tape. Plus, as you know, she's a cook so she brought tons of food and took over the fridge and counters and has been making delicious food for us. Any weight loss I may have achieved will be undone. I don't care. It's SOOO nice to have her here. 

We've been masking and keeping out distance. Today she went for a covid test which she'll get in a few days. Then maybe we can be around each other without our faces covered. 

I got up at 4:45 this morning and went swimming IN A POOL. There is one pool a bit south of me that is open. No locker room, only 2 people per lane, masking until we're in the water. The pool was full. At that hour. And you have to register for times. I did get the rest of my wet suit-gloves and booties, so I have no excuse to go to the Sound again. It's a whole thing, apparently, cold water swimming. Precautions-don't swim by yourself and sometimes people have heart attacks and strokes from the shock. 

Eden, my gleaner, saw an apple tree in the green belt where we walk loaded with apples. We went and picked way too many apples and so they are sitting on the counter waiting for, um.....with our spare time we'll be dehydrating apples, I guess. 

In other news, John Oliver blowing up 2020 is perfect, just perfect.  

Please watch immediately

Wednesday, November 11, 2020

 Here today I'm gonna swear off stress reading CNN/NYT for further damage, destruction etc. I will write to Georgian voters to show up for the runoff. I will go back to the massage therapist (Dan) who I found on Google in my neighborhood. He untangled my messed up shoulder by leaning heavily into my spasming trapezius and upper arm with his very large biceps. I whimpered a bit but didn't stop him. I could barely move my arm when I went into his studio. He was very knowledgeable about US politics and racism and all so he regaled me with stories, which I found strangely soothing. 

The body doesn't lie. 

Meditation is not always the answer. We also have to get off our butts and work for change, in our neighborhoods, with our fellow humans. The United Way is back to offer more food related volunteer opportunities. I'm going to the 'food forest' to dig and plant and prep for next year. The food forest is a public garden in a 'food desert' in my neighborhood where anyone can come and take food, for free. I have plenty of food. I have plenty. 

I will continue to do what I can. After four ruinous years, there's so much we can attend to. No such thing as retirement. Nope. 

She has come to live in my living room next to my altar. She Who Hears the Cries of the World. 

Peace and love always. 

Saturday, November 07, 2020

 We drank a whole bottle of  Dom Perignon. It was delicious. We started to breathe after holding our breath for 4 days. Seattle is very quiet. I cried through Kamala's speech. 

This is real. It really happened. There's a lot to do but tonight we can relax just a bit. 

Thursday, November 05, 2020

 I learned that more white women voted for Trump this time around, more than last election. WTF. How does fascism rise? This is how.  

And I fear my fellow citizens, the ones who support authoritarianism. Bigotry. Intolerance. It was always thus. This administration just threw open Pandora's box.

I can't watch. Kenny sends me updates.

This morning I drove up north to the Korean spa for ladies. I was the only person there for the first 30 minutes. I got a scrub as my skin has been feeling like scales. I sat in the steam and the hot tub. I had lunch in the little cafe. It was worth every penny.

Now I'm lying on the  couch eating fancy chocolate under a down comforter. Today the lady who scrubbed me with her scratchy mittens touched me ALL OVER. I'm gonna sleep well tonight, guaranteed. Joe just might get to be the next prez. 

Keep the faith, dear friends. 

Wednesday, November 04, 2020

 Just had a good long cry after reading Mary's blog here. Holding her hand through this shite. What I have is a cat who had taken to peeing large puddles in front of the front door so when I step into the house, I step into a pee puddle. Being gone for two weeks has sent her right round the bend. Don't tell me animals don't feel our anxiety and stress. 

Nancy is talking about going to Germany and living in her brother's house until they kick her out. She doesn't feel safe here. Casey is looking into a visa for Portugal, in prep for emigrating. Tracy and her fam are planning a trip to Mexico but she said to me today that either candidate is still part of a system that doesn't give a fuck about her brown self and her brown children. 


Four more years of woman hating, queer baiting, BIPOC hating, LIFE DESTROYING for personal gain policies and speeches and agendas is too much to bear. So I just cried and cried til the snot was running down my face. The cat is perched beside my computer purring away. I think she's trying to soothe me or maybe herself. 

At least with Biden we could have some sanity around the pandemic, some coordination, SOMETHING. Repairing our relations with global leaders.....jeezus. 

Felix and I went to Cougar Mountain for a good long hike in the rain. 

My younger daughter is driving up here from LA some time this month. We're going to be the workers in a small sweat shop in my house making aprons as promo for her book. 

Felix likes to go to sleep and then wake up at 2 or 3AM and start woofing, softly, over and over. Why does he do this? Other than making me want to kill him. You try sleeping through a 'woof' every 3 minutes. 


with the night falling we are saying thank you
we are stopping on the bridges to bow from the railings
we are running out of the glass rooms
with our mouths full of food to look at the sky
and say thank you
we are standing by the water thanking it
standing by the windows looking out
in our directions

back from a series of hospitals back from a mugging
after funerals we are saying thank you
after the news of the dead
whether or not we knew them we are saying thank you

over telephones we are saying thank you
in doorways and in the backs of cars and in elevators
remembering wars and the police at the door
and the beatings on stairs we are saying thank you
in the banks we are saying thank you
in the faces of the officials and the rich
and of all who will never change
we go on saying thank you thank you

with the animals dying around us
taking our feelings we are saying thank you
with the forests falling faster than the minutes
of our lives we are saying thank you
with the words going out like cells of a brain
with the cities growing over us
we are saying thank you faster and faster
with nobody listening we are saying thank you
thank you we are saying and waving
dark though it is

I watched Good Will Hunting again the other night. Robin Williams acts the hell out of his part. His gestures, asides, the way he uses his body to convey deep compassion . Sometimes we are witness to greatness. Bless him for giving us that light. 

The rain is raining all around. Going to bed and if Felix won't stop woofing, he goes into the guest room.

Sunday, November 01, 2020

 Dear Friends-

As I said, I was not going to be one of those people who swim in 50 degree water. Those fools in wet suits dragging yellow or orange balloons behind them so boats or jet skis don't clobber them. Those idiots who swim from buoy to buoy. Not me. Nope. Although I have endless fascination for all outdoor activities. Rock climbing, never want to. Mountain climbing, ditto. Biking is great. Running, can't do anymore. Hiking perfection. Downhill skiing, never ever, would kill myself. Cross-country, now we're talking. And my favorite, swimming. Not scuba diving, scares me. But swimming is closest to heaven, body-wise. 

With the pools closed, what to do? Wait for the lake to get warm enough. Then----- autumn. Nooooooo. So a wet suit it is. And let me tell you. Those fuckers are tight, really tight. Like the Black Panther movie tight. And who thought a zipper in the back was a good idea? Doesn't matter that there is a long shoelace thing tied to the zipper so you can try hauling it up your back. Right.


I went swimming yesterday. And I decided to zip it up by myself. So I part way zipped it, contorted myself into the suit and zipped it ALL THE WAY UP. Yeah!!! As I said, it's like trying to pull on a stretchy thick inner tube up your legs, over your torso and over your arms. Right. But I did it. I drove to the water (beautiful brisk fall day) and swam. Well, the shock of the water was, shall we say, alarming. My body was warm, my hands and feet had no feeling and my face was frozen. Like when you eat too much ice  cream too fast frozen. 

I made it out to the buoy, paddled around a bit and then went in because even I realized the insanity of it. 

I might go tomorrow but that is absolutely the last time. I'm not completed crazy. 

I might post again after, you know, Tuesday. Probably not before. 

Stay safe out there, everyone. As Seth Myers says at the end of his shows-We love you.