Tuesday, August 24, 2021

 Welp. I'm going to a cabin in the woods on Camano Island tomorrow with the dog and some books and food and a sleeping bag. We'll spend time on the beach and on the trails and sitting on the deck listening to the silence. 

I found this place last minute on Hipcamp, which if you don't know, is a site for camping, glamping, etc on land owned by ordinary folks who have some acres and maybe a view of the water. There are cabins, tree houses, river banks, woods and open fields. It's a way for rural folks to make a bit of clink and a way for us city folk to share in their lives. 

My cabin owners have chickens (Mary!), goats and a horse. Felix is welcome to accompany me. Camano Island is about 1 1/2 hours from here, pretty, sweet and away from the noise and energy of Seattle. Plus Rebecca lives there somewhere. 

I'm ready to leave today. I loaded up with books (natch), notebooks, pens, a bit of music until my phone dies (no electricity in the cabin), some food, boots and random clothes. 

I already feel relaxed. I'm NOT driving to Oregon to sit in a bone dry forest with fires lurking all around. 

In other news, I'm reading about pruning things. The garden is out of control. The daphne and salvia and lavender and what's this called? are all monstrously monstrous giant round bushes. I must harden my heart and whack away. to give the smaller, more polite plants a chance. 

I can get a booster shot on September 20th. Or so I'm told.  

"Charlie Watts" R.I.P. The Rolling Stones The Last Time

Sunday, August 22, 2021

 Well dears. No trip to the Boundary Waters of Minnesota. The park rescinded all permits and closed all the entrances because of fire and smoke. Judith went anyway to see her family. At first the plan was for the locals to look for a campground. When that failed, they went for an Airbnb. So I said nah. Not flying half way across the country to stay in an airbnb with Judith's family who are, I'm sure, lovely people. I was looking for an outdoor adventure. Maybe next year...

Maya is going back to Cave Junction in Oregon at the end of the week and I think I might go there. I do remember the terror of last year, driving home through two horrendous fires on I-5. Right now it looks ok. I'll decide last minute and either stay or go. Our new normal. Fires? Air quality? Covid rampaging? 


Meanwhile I'm watching an old Eddie Izzard comedy special. He's totally in drag and making fun of Americans for not knowing any history. We do deserve it. Comedy helps with everything. That and swimming at 8 in the morning with my beloved Clark. I'm starting to think about my wetsuit again as the water gets colder and colder. But what freedom being way out in the water, rocking in the waves. 

Tomorrow Holly and I hike to Annette Lake. Beautiful. 

Monday, August 16, 2021


By Roger Reeves

It turns out however that I was deeply
Mistaken about the end of the world
The body in flames will not be the body
In flames but just a house fire ignored
The black sails of that solitary burning
Boat rubbing along the legs of lovers
Flung into a Roman sky by a carousel
The lovers too sick in their love
To notice a man drenched in fire on a porch
Or a child aflame mistaken for a dog
Mistaken for a child running to tell of a bomb
That did not knock before it entered
In Gaza with its glad tidings of abundant joy
In Kazimierz a god is weeping
In a window one golden hand raised
Above his head as if he’s slipped
On the slick rag of the future our human
Kindnesses unremarkable as the flies
Rubbing their legs together while standing
On a slice of cantaloupe Children
You were never meant to be human
You must be the grass
You must grow wildly over the graves

Friday, August 13, 2021

 Well, we missed the birth but her husband stepped in and caught his daughter. Experienced parents, water off a duck's back.

In other news, lotsa grapes for the first time! And the elderberries are ready to pluck. But you know what. It's too effing hot to do anything except get in the lake and stand there (well, I swim to the buoy and around). Felix and I have already been there once but there is another trip to the water in our future. 

I called Mary M to tell her that her governor is an idiot. As if she didn't know. Insecurity and anxiety is our new normal, right? 

I am checking my blood sugar and finally deciding to take statins for my cholesterol. There are only so many things I can do, diet and exercise wise, that fix anything. Especially with family genetics. It's disappointing that I won't be able to say I'm not on any meds...sheesh, just like a real old person. 

And can we talk? I've lost 10 pounds in the last year so I'm 138 pretty reliably. Why are my boobs so big? Why? Eden convinced me to order 10 bras of different sizes and designers, try them on and send back the ones that don't work. She told me to use a credit card ($700+!!!) I'm waiting for the package to arrive. She is a clever girl so I trusted her. 

She's much better, BTW. The surgeon told her to begin PT and she can begin to use her arm. The dog is gone and now she can take jobs (with help from her cousin Sarah) and begin to have an income again. I've been so worried about her. I know you know. 

Went to Ventura with my women Dharma friends and we walked on the beach and talked and talked and hung out. I also saw the inside of a famous rock star's house because Rachel was staying there. To describe my amazement and astonishment would be an understatement. You know when you act like everything is normal but you are faking it. I tried hard to be cool but it was a bit of a stretch.  Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory? Alice in Wonderland? 

Tomorrow I facilitate a memorial for a baby who died. I wrote something but it's all inadequate. Showing up is really all we can do. Sometimes we're just hanging on. 

With the folks I mentor, I've been asking, "Who are you?" It's a really good, unanswerable question.

Who are you, really?