Friday, November 19, 2021

 I'll say it here:

If Kyle Rittenhouse were Black, he'd be doing time.

And he's still a child and he took two lives and he has to live with that. And somehow it was ok that he was carrying an AK 47 or some horrible war weapon. 

Sweet baby Jeezus.

Milo turned 19 today. He has no notions of carrying or learning to use a gun. We, his family, would NEVER allow it. Never. 

Round 3 of my "silent" retreat. It started last weekend while my daughter and grandson were here. Then the clinic needed me to do visits, then there was a birth, today there may be another birth AND there is a concrete cutter in my basement with a giant saw cutting a huge hole in the foundation in preparation for the new window. Directly under my little sitting bench. It's very loud, of course it is. 

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha etc.

That's it. I'm going swimming in the pool (85 degrees), taking the dog for his walk and coming back to meditate in the midst of all of it. 

It's all perfect. It's all a mess. 

As Maude would say (in Harold and Maude) "Ah, life."

Don't forget to eat your vegetables. 

Love you..

Thursday, November 18, 2021

Some babies I have caught, one yesterday while I was supposed to be on a silent retreat (ha!)

Milo and Eden last weekend. We had so much fun. I love them to the moon and back

Me and baby Maya on 48th and 10th in Hell's Kitchen, NYC, 1973. I was 23 and Maya was a few months old. I love that girl so much all over again.

 Dear friends-

I am going to apply for a Buddhist chaplaincy program and I hope I get in. I haven't been this excited in a long while. I have had an ongoing interest in secondary trauma with the childbearing year and this will give me the opportunity to write/finish my book/thesis/whatever this is with the help and support of a program that advocates for social justice in many areas-environmental, social, racial, women's issues etc. Chaplains go into prisons and jails, work with the homeless, all the disenfranchised and wounded in our world. This particular program serves in many underserved areas as volunteers. 

No proselytizing btw. Anyway, not a thing Buddhists do. We don't go door to door. We don't picket in front of abortion clinics. We're hopefully not obnoxious. I loved school and I want to be in school again. Yes!!

Anyway, I'll let you know if I get in. It's 2 years and a whole lotta work. Oh, and money. Not too much but hey it will be there if it's the right thing to do. I know of the director. She's rad. 

I love you all. 

Saturday, November 06, 2021

 Went to a birth a few nights ago. Saw them today for a check up. This momma had a c/section the first time around and a vaginal birth two mornings ago. She is so happy, so content. I swear, helping a woman heal from a surgery she didn't want is so powerful for her. C/sections are important and useful and when properly utilized, lifesaving. However, there are way too many in our modern world and women often feel ripped off and traumatized. Until the day I die (and maybe beyond!), this midwifery work has been about honoring and respecting women and their bodies and their knowing. A woman who feels ok about her birth, however it went, is a woman who hopefully felt listened to by all who went on the journey of birth with her. And that means medical folks, family members, her partner and the family dog. When women are discounted and disrespected when laboring and birthing, the hurt and pain go deep. 

This mother felt triumphant. She got to feel everything. She got to push her baby out. And for her, that was important. Her first baby was breech so she never even had contractions. Boy howdy, she felt contractions this time. The walls of her room were covered with affirmations of love and support. 

This baby was a whopper, by the way. Almost 2 pounds bigger than her first child. 

In other news, Clark and I went swimming this morning and we froze our tootsies off. Rain, wind and water 54 degrees. We stayed near the shore and called it pretty soon after we got in. Took me more time to get my booties, gloves, cap and wetsuit off that I spent in the water. I'm still shivering. Then the sun comes out, then it starts pouring again. 

I guess I should turn on the heat, huh.

Made a yogurt, egg, almond flour cake that was so boring, I almost threw it away. It sounded good but yuck. It needs more sweetener and lemon juice and zest. I'll try again. 

I have to make granola for my beloved Milo who will be here next Thursday. And homemade bread. What do teenage boys like to eat besides junk? I think they eat about everything. I started a quilt for Eden and I will be working on it right in front of her. She won't know it's for her. There is a knitting project I started last winter that so intimidated me I put it on the shelf. Might be time to get it out and cry a little. 

Ok, I'm getting into the hot tub. It's not raining at the moment. In the winter working on quilts is a wise move cuz you're sitting under them. Pretty cozy.