Monday, March 22, 2021

 Dear friends-

I would like to complain and then I'll stop, k? 

It's cold and rainy here. Every day. Ug. I am a tolerant woman but sometimes it's just too much. My sister who has braved northern NY for years is now in Florida and planning to move there. I get it. Florida summers might be a bit much but she breezes out of the house in shorts and sandals while I'm up here gearing up in rain clothes and boots (again). Sigh. 

And I'm to 'isolate' until my endoscopy tomorrow. Covid test negative. Well, there's that. 

It's not dribbling outside. It's actually raining big rain drops. I know, first world problem. But day after day, c'mon. 

Because I can't leave the house until my procedure except to walk the dog (there's nobody out there, trust me) I have one day to get myself together to leave for Cal. 

Oh gawd, I am truly whining. 

In other news, I give a bit of money to causes I care about. They are monthly donations that come out of my account automatically. You may know that I facilitate two weekly meditation groups and one of the participants sends me money for each session. I always offer these sits for free and I told her she didn't have to send money but she does, every week. So I just pass it on to Buddhist nuns, a Dharma teacher and the Duwamish tribe (for 'rent') as I am living on their unceded land. 

See how that is? 

Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere. We are caught in an inescapable network of mutuality, tied in a single garment of destiny. Whatever affects one directly, affects all indirectly.”                                                                                                                                                      MLK

It adds to my understanding of karma, which I partially understand. The idea of passing it on, passing it through. That how we are in this life affects everything with implications for the future, our descendants and theirs and so on. And we're reaping actions from the past, sometimes the long past. Maybe there is 'instant karma' but I think that is a truncated understanding. 

We don't know how far and wide our goodness and generosity will travel. I do know it feels good to do good. To be a good person. I have often said that I don't know about enlightenment (or nibbana or nirvana or whatever). I aspire to be a mensch, a yiddish word for good person. 

I'm starting to counsel women who have had traumatic birth/postpartum experiences. I remind them that I'm not a therapist and I don't charge for listening. That is what I do, listen. I had my first person last week and I have another woman before I leave. Trauma lodges in the body and telling the story can help. I don't try to fix it or minimize their experience. I listen with kindness. There is so much pain in this world!! In a tiny way, perhaps this activity can alleviate a bit of suffering. 


Ms. Moon said...

You mostly definitely are a mensch and your good deeds are mitzvahs. I believe that with all my heart, even as, like you, I do not really understand karma. But doing good because it's the right thing to do needs no understanding.
Why are you getting an endoscopy? Are you okay?
Your work with the women who have had traumatic births sounds like such a necessary and loving thing to do. I am sure that having you to listen to them with a loving presence will be infinitely healing. I love you for that.
And for so many other reasons.
And don't be too envious of your sister. She may feel one way about Florida right now but wait until she's lived through an August. Ugh. I just got torn up by red ants in my garden. Sometimes Florida can just suck it.

Sabine said...

The gift always returns. Thank you for your work.

Elizabeth said...

I'm sorry about the cold -- I couldn't stand the cold and rain, to tell you the truth. I really don't know how I'd live without the near-constant sunshine of southern California. These are strange and difficult times beyond compare for most of our lifetime's, I think. I think you are a profound woman, and I am grateful for your writing here.