A little over a year ago, a dear friend and colleague lost her newborn. She has been posting all month to review the final month of her pregnancy, the birth and the death of her daughter. I can barely read it for the pain. And yet I do as do other readers. We are held in a web of suffering and grief with her, the true meaning of karuna, a Pali word that means compassion or to suffer with. In knowing and befriending our own losses, we can then feel into and support the unbearable suffering of another. Trump can't feel sorrow for the the death of McCain because he hasn't swept the pathway to his own sorrow. I know I'm being generous when I would rather trash him, but today, the strength of the planetary suffering is what I'm open to.
These days I feel a split in myself. I go to clinic and see pregnant mothers and meet newborns. I buy veggies and bread. I walk the dog and swim in the lake. I meditate by myself and with my friends. So on one hand, my life is eventful and peaceful. On the other, I obsess about the news, I am in touch with the most dreadful sadness in myself. I feel the trees and plants struggling with the lack of water and the extreme heat. Smoke fills the air and drops ash on my car. I literally have to turn away in order to function, to show up, to stay here in the world of car washes and movies and children and dogs. I feel myself opening and closing, the pain ebbing and flowing. I don't feel futility or hopelessness. I'm just present to the pain. As Ram Das once said, "On one hand, life is beautiful and on the other it's all shit." Holding both views is the practice of equanimity, which I just don't have right now. I vacillate between the two polls with a resulting sense of vertigo.
I continue to turn to concept of 'power over' as opposed to 'power from within'. Racism, misogyny, sexism, homophobia, transphobia, all these hatreds are based in fear and therefore loathing. Even the Earth's body is not exempt. As we continue to polarize, the Earth and her creatures reveal the depth of our delusion about our separateness.
Ruth King, author of "Mindful of Race" reminds us:
Interdependence: This is the practice of remembering that we are part of something larger than our individual selves-a karmic web of humanity-and what we do has impact.
Compassion: The practice of compassion is a weapon of mass healing.
Harmlessness: The practice of nonharming in body, speech and mind is essential for respect and safety.
May we all be held in love and caring today. May we all be free.
4 comments:
"Trump can't feel sorrow for the the death of McCain because he hasn't swept the pathway to his own sorrow."
Thinking about your words about the president, I'm reminded of Thich Nhat Hanh's poem where he speaks of hearts that cannot yet see.
Thank you for all you wrote today about pain ebbing and flowing, along with a vision of all of us being held lovingly in freedom.
Well, no matter what we may practice and try to practice and even preach and teach, we are still humans on this earth where it is our nature to want to engage with all of the emotions we have.
I love that you love. You are inspiration.
Oh that split, it's hard and heavy. I watch people dear to me preparing for a new baby and there are moments when I think what good is it to create a safe space for a new person when all around that space the earth is on fire. Should we not concentrate on that instead.
A thought that of course doesn't help the slightes bit.
I have run out of ideas.
You inspire me to be a better, more compassionate person. Thank you.
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