Friday, October 10, 2014

In a few months my house will look like this

I went to my first group fitness class this morning. My new neighborhood had a community gym that is sensitive to the multi-ethnic folks who live in my 'hood. On the wall behind the counter is a sign that says they won't play music that is violent or insensitive to women(!) AND NO SWEARING. Now that's a hard one. When you're sure your trainer is trying to kill you by commanding you to do one more set of sit-ups, planks and free weights, swear words come naturally out your mouth.  Right? I have made it a long practice to swear when the occasion calls for it.

One of my swimmer pals suggested that I learn a foreign language and swear in that language. My luck someone from Laos or Nigeria would be in the gym and hear me.

Shite. Merde.

I just listened to Creme and the young Eric Clapton. Boy did that take me back to my misspent youth. A lot of drugs and sex were involved and the budding of my swearing practice.

For your viewing pleasure-look what has happened to my house in the last few days:

Hot damn. Hot darn just doesn't sound right.  Maybe I could swear like The Fantastic Mr Fox:

  • Badger:
    The cuss you are...
    Mr. Fox:
    The cuss am I? Are you cussing with me?!
    No, you cussing with ME?!
    Mr. Fox:
    Don't cussing point at me!
    You'll cuss someone but me!
    No, you're not gonna cuss with me, you little cuss!


Ms. Moon said...

I cussing love you.

Yours cussing truly...Ms. Moon

Elizabeth said...

That's one big damn house.

Sabine said...

My mother in law always said sweet jesus! and she certainly never ever used any swear words. When someone pointed out that she was using the name of jesus in vain, she changed to sweet josephine.

You could say mist, which is a German swear word meaning cow dung.

Jo said...

Oh, god. Please read the real Fantastic Mr Fox, I don't know what the hell that film is. Sigh.

You can do what I've tried (and failed) to do round my kids. Fork! Frogsticks! etc.

The building's looking great!

mary i said...

I love all your headers,they are always interesting. Your new place seems to be coming along. As for cussing there is always "fudge" or "frick-frack" My grandmothers was "H-E double L. Took us kids a long time to figure it out.Your smart I know you will come up with something. :) have a happy cussing day..Your Alabama fan Mary.

beth coyote said...

I cussing love you right back, mary darling.

Actually, Elizabeth, it's quite small. The bedroom will just fit my double bed. But I got a territorial view, so I'll be the master of all I survey..

Mist-excellent!!! Thank you!

Jo-go rent the movie. It's really very clever and funny. And George Clooney is the voice of Mr Fox.

Thanks, Mary , for your faith in me. I did slap my hand over my mouth during my very first fitness training. I'm incorrigible.