Dears-
I just started a 'program' called A Year to Live. The book is by Stephen Levine. With my dear friend and Dharma teacher Mary Stancavage. On Saturday she led us in a meditation that set our 'death day', 365 days from 4/25/2021. We have daily practice and we'll be meeting once a month, until we die.
One of my writing group called it 'morbid'. Granted, I'm two days in but I have thought often about this season. Spring. Will this be my last spring. How can I enjoy it completely. Last year allowed spring to unfold for me in the most intimate and illuminated way. Daily I attended to buds unfurling and weeds flourishing. The vegetable garden was bountiful. The elderberry was prolific and lush. With the fear of death hovering over us all, moments were more brilliant, our very breath life giving or life ending.
Right now from my window a crow is perched on the top of a maple tree. Unconcerned with the ending of her life. We humans know we will die, just not when. But I know when (hypothetically). I want to be ready to meet it. I don't want to be like my friend James who struggled and suffered and was overcome with fear at the end.
As I said to a therapist many years ago, "I don't want to be afraid to die because I was afraid to live."
Much love
4 comments:
Such an interesting exercise.
I remember that my most profound lesson about death came when my friend Sue died. There were five of us, holding her when she took her last breaths. What I learned was that it was nothing to be afraid of. But of course, death isn't the focus in this practice, I suppose. It's living as if we were truly living our last days.
Fascinating!
And not morbid at all in my opinion. In fact- the opposite.
This is so interesting to me -- are you writing as you go -- as you move toward death? I hope that you will keep us informed -- and I wish I could meet you before you go.
Mary XXXXXX
Elizabeth-Yes, I am writing daily with this practice. And painting too.
I remember holding this book in my hand somewhere and thinking I must do this. But no more came of it. So looking in forward to your journey.
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