Thursday, March 26, 2020

My tenant has taken herself to her partner's house in the country for Shelter in place (don't know why I capitalized that) and so I'm truly the only human in the house now. She's worried about me but will check on me daily. I have many folks who are staying in touch, delivering food and cat litter etc. So.

On a Zoom call yesterday about the coming surge and plans the independent midwifery community is working on to care for pregnant and laboring women through the next few months as hospitals need every available bed and low risk women need to be off-site. Working from here as I can't be in the midst of the fray as someone who is vulnerable cuz of my age. It's so intense.

The fear/panic is a humming in my chest and gut. From my vantage point in my pretty house, I'm damned privileged. I have food for myself and the critters. I'm apparently healthy. I have money to pay my mortgage and utilities, almost. Close enough. Life getting real without eating out, buying shit and going to the movies.

My daily practice looks like this. Feed Felix and Lola. Check the weather for our walk down Beacon Ave. Dress. Meditate in silence or guided. Wait to eat and shower until Felix and I return. Eat. Shower. Listen to the Catch and Kill podcast (thanks Mary!), etc. Some days I spend a lot of time on the phone or Facetime or Zoom calls. My neighbor works at Home Depot and he says everyone is coming in for supplies for their remodel. I think Home Depot must be closed by now but he's bringing me soil so I can start some veggies in the house.

The walk down the street is a refuge. The smell of the air, cut grass, the birds esp the robins (always a herald of spring when I was growing up in the cold North), the occasional person who is walking far from me. O the blooming world.

The next days are full of rain. Time for an umbrella and rain boots. We're  tough, we NW types.

Today is Eden's birthday and we'll be celebrating via Zoom. I'll wear my Burning Man hat and light candles stuck in a banana.


Ms. Moon said...

That exhausted, blissed-out look on a brand new mama's face. You were a baby yourself!
I have no idea what I do all day. Not much of anything. But we're hanging in, woman! We are! We are taking care of what is right in front of us. That's our job.
Happy birthday to your girl. Happy Birth day to you.

beth coyote said...

Girl, I was 25! That was a long ass time ago.

Love you

Sabine said...

Happy birthday, happy mother day!!!

Motherhood surprise, I was a week from my 25th, probably looked similar overjoyed/exhausted but no pictures.

There was bit of a panic here when some clinics announced that partners would not be permitted into the delivery room, just the mothers. This has been dropped after much protest for now.

But everything is "for now" and it's a bit like waiting for a tsunami.
Stay well, stay calm.

beth coyote said...

We are fast approaching 'no support people with the mother. So awful.

You be well and safe.

am said...

Sending love far and wide, especially now to those about to give birth. The photo of you and Eden is beautiful. A day to remember.

Tara said...

Beth, your comment on Interimarrangements touched me deeply. Thank you for that. So of course I came over here. I've 'seen you around' via Robin and other bloggers for years!

My grandson is named Eden. He is eight years old now. Happy Birthday to your Eden.

My daughter was sick with headache, lethargy and dry cough for over a week. Couldn't get tested. She's very much better now but damn that was rough. I'm sure there are many many like her.

Stay safe, stay well.