Well, this is day 5? after my positive test. Pretty mild symptoms. Runny nose, tiny cough, night sweats like I had when I went through menopause (now that's fun!) Oh and I went to the ER with severe belly pain a few nights ago. No Dx except that it's a thing with covid, who knew. It's gone but they worked me up and gave me paxlovid. Now that med is terrible tasting stuff. But I guess I will recover quicker as an elderly person.
My neighbors and friends are taking such good care of me, shopping for food and inquiring daily how I'm doing. I am SO GRATEFUL to them for their kindnesses.
We are in a effed up ice storm. My poor tenant (fellow midwife) went to a birth early this morning in a crummy car and said it was the worst drive of her life. I'm sure. The roads are solid ice. Poor Felix slid/fell down the stairs when I let him out this morning. And now there's another birth happening. It's bad. Well, I'm out of commission. that's for sure.
I took a shower today because, well, even sick, I was um, smelly. Then it's back to the couch and wondering if there is ANYTHING I haven't seen yet on Netflix. I alternate with reading my book and meditating, at least today. And eating carbs.
There's a Pali word: Dukkha which translates as dissatisfaction. The definition of suffering. I'm actually feeling oddly ok. I could dwell on being stuck in the house, missing the fun in California and so on, but I'm at peace with it. As soon as I saw the red line on my first covid test, I felt somehow settled. So there it is. Impermanence. We don't control shit. We really don't. In this weird way, I'm feeling surrounded by love (as we all are) even when we don't know it. Is that too hippie?
Tonight I'll hold my usual meditation at 7 PM. We'll see if anyone shows up. I'll be there. Life just be this way sometimes.
May you enjoy the slow returning of the light.
Beth
3 comments:
Seems to me that this Solstice has been one dang thing after another. I know that's just the way it "seems" but still...
I'm so glad you have neighbors to tend to you. I'm sure you are bored. Have you reached the end of the internet yet?
Sending my love, darling. Sending my hugs.
I'm thinking of you daily, hoping that you'll soon test negative and be out and about. I did see the crazy ice that Seattle experienced -- I feel like southern California has escaped everything, although we did have those weeks of unbearably hot weather in September. Let's try to catch up on the phone this week?
Feel better, Beth. I love your philosophical of acceptance of what is. There is a lesson for me there.
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