My Little Golden Book of Phobias

We got all the plants planted before it started to rain. We went to Sky nursery. It's one of those nurseries with water features and shade gardens and acres of rhodies and azaleas and roses. You stagger around trying to figure out what you can afford and will it fit in your car without breaking all the branches and where in your yard will you plant it and do you really (really?) need another hosta...and so forth. After the most pathetic frozen Spring on record, honestly, we were all rather giddy. The parking lot was full.

I wanted an oriental pansy in the worst way but they were $100. I mean, one plant for $100 dollars. I could pay my water bill with $100. So I didn't buy an expensive pansy. I contented myself with a maidenhair fern. I won't kill this one. I won't kill this one. I won't. Why do they have to be so finicky?

Sheesh. One day they're fine and the next they're all dried out and curled up. My house is not the rain forest or whatever it is they want. What? Singing? Red shoes? Chocolate? What?

What do maidenhair ferns need to be happy?