My Little Golden Book of Phobias

WTF, more snow???? This is not the northeast where that sort of thing is, well, common. I grew up there and got out as soon as I could, snow on the crocus and daffs. I think if I hadn't gone to California for a month, I would have been OK. They have sun there almost every day. All day. And people take it for granted. I'm bloody sick of this. 

I miss the wild turkeys at the retreat center. There was a flock of them. They are, in a word, ridiculous. The males puff all up, fluff up their feathers, fan out their tales and change their wattles from white to red. OK, their wattles look like facial scrotums, eewww. And they have this wormy thingy hanging down from their beaks. Then they foof out their wings and drag them on the ground and make huffing noises if they aren't gobbling. Ridiculous, absolutely ridiculous. But I guess the girl turkeys think they are hot. I watched a mating pair. I wasn't sneaking around, just walking down the road and there they were. The male climbed on top and hung on (by the way, turkeys are BIG) and started bouncing around until the female was basically flattened on the pavement with her wings out while making a kind of erping sound. When he was "done", he hopped off and wandered away. No snuggling or cigarettes or anything. Turkey love.