Wednesday, April 06, 2011

Dental adventures

I was there at 9:30. The hygienist chatted and poked around, making small clucking noises. I felt afraid. I mean, pockets are Ok if they're 1 or 2 or 3 but 5? Does that mean I have craters in my mouth beside my teeth with small fishes in them and areas of darkness? Stalagmites and stalactites made of plaque? Then she moved in with a face shield and a blow torch after the needles in the palate. You are not supposed to have needles in your palate. G-d did not create your palate for needle treatment. She roped off with the headlamp firmly in place and descended.
And this was only for half of my mouth. I have to go back for the other half. Later.

The dentist came in and he was much more optimistic. He said my mouth looked 'pretty good'. He admired the color of my gums and gave me a 4 point lecture on implants, complete with power point.

I think this is the dental version of 'good cop, bad cop.'

Even with dental insurance, I know I'm going to spend a small fortune there. Fortunately, B of A offered me a home equity line of credit today for no reason. I needed a notary and ended up giving a complete stranger permission to view my credit history, review my home and car insurance and check my tax returns from last year. My g'friend left the premises and walked around the neighborhood. She didn't offer to put a stop to this situation.


Maybe with a big line of credit, I could run up a huge bill and disappear to Tuscany. Anyway, the Feds are shutting down on Friday so who cares.


Laura Gamache said...

Oh those dental pockets! Yikes! Ask me about my, uh, 10. xox

beth coyote said...

10? Really? OMG. I actually feel better...