My Little Golden Book of Phobias

I'm going to LA tomorrow to see my child. She has many plans for us including a dinner party with her friends in the movie business. Gawd, what will I wear? Will they be fancy with modern hair and those big sunglasses? I'm a little worried. At least my toenails are painted. I go to the salon down the street so I can get spruced up. I also catch up on my movie star info ala People and such. The nice ladies remember my name and they massage my legs and bang on my calves. Very thoughtful of them.

I have one eeny complaint today. The new garbage people took my recycling bin. Away. And didn't give me another. Harrumph. I have been forced to go across the street to my neighbors and dumping my recycling in their bin. Another neighbor just moved out and I was skulking around their house looking for THEIR bin, no luck. Today, I'm taking my recycling to work to dump it there. 

Dear City of Seattle: Please give me another recycling bin and I will stop behaving like I am doing something wrong, sneaking across the street in the night with my recycling. Like a thief. Please.