Sometimes I have to take women to the hospital in an ambulance. Lights and sirens. Everybody lives happily ever after. Then my nervous system shudders to a halt. Right now, old episodes of Columbo is the medicine I am taking. Ol' one-eyed Peter Falk. When I used to watch those shows on network TV, I had no idea. About his eye. Now, I focus on it. The glass eye, the rumpled raincoat, the scuffed up shoes, the unlit cigar. I want him investigating my murder. He'd know it was the brother-in-law after my millions.