(after 10 minutes of waiting while I listened to Vivaldi's Four Seasons with many bumps and scratches)
Hello, this is Andrea, number 07489601, IRS. How may I direct your call?
Uh, I have a letter here and I need some clarification.
What is type of tax are you inquiring about?
????,uh, my income tax...
(heavy ironic sigh) Of course, this is the IRS. What type of tax are you inquiring about?
I am a business owner and I need to speak to someone about a letter I received about my taxes...
(another sigh, obviously dealing with an idiot) What does the letter say?
uh, this refers to my 1040 tax return and I...
Yes, yes, this is the IRS, what type of tax are you referring to???
My tax return, my...
Business taxes? Personal taxes?
(I'm desperate now so I take a stab at it) uh, personal taxes.
Please hold for that division. (more Vivaldi now, with big skips and plunges)
After another 5 minutes, I hung up. I reread the letter and I think I figured it out. The IRS is coming to my house soon and taking my cats and toaster oven. All taxes in the future will be a personal affront to anyone I contact. I am an idiot and I am deeply sorry.
The neighbors across the street moved the derelict car with the gold rims and flat tire so someone could park a huge-ass RV there, which 'ran' all night, people living inside apparently. On the other corner a huge-ass U-Haul truck with a trailer, also theirs. Do I call the city? Where are RVs supposed to park? I don't think they are supposed to park in residential neighborhoods. I kept waking up all night thinking a semi was outside my window with their engine running. Maybe with the economy, more people will start living like this; a current Joad family. I wonder if they are having hamburger gravy for breakfast...
7 comments:
There are RV caravans all over my poor part of the city. Greg "Nicholsville" Nichols chases them out by putting no parking between 5 PM and 5 AM signs all over, so they, and the children that do indeed live with them, have no where to go. It is a sad thing indeed, to be forced to carry your house and belongings on your back in such a beautiful city.
Christ.
I mean the one who hung out with the hookers and cripples.
What's the deal? I just had to pay the state of Illinois $600 for a screw up with my taxes from about five years ago. I don't even have a credit card. What do you want from me, America?
Dude. What us UP with that big ass Uhaul though! I mean, it's HUGE! And What house does it belong to???
This is Brenda, BTW. I finally found your blog. :)
Apple dearest-so sorry. As my accountant has said, "never mess with the IRS. They will hunt you down."
Brenda-welcome and WTF, U Haul and RV, whoa.
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