My Little Golden Book of Phobias

So some hackers calling themselves Mango.Com have managed to extricate about a thousand bucks from my account, leaving me in the red. The bank had kindly helped me to file a fraud report. I've already changed my card number. Fuckers.

Yesterday while I was lounging in the hot tub at my pool, the topic of *sex* cam up. And who is in the hot tub, you may ask? Two older Asian ladies, a man and a woman from Ghana, Arturo, my buddy, from Mexico and an older white guy with a skinny braid. And me, of course. All was well until the man from Ghana mentioned that Michael Douglas has said that his throat cancer was caused by oral sex.

Hoo-boy.

I did raise my voice while laughing at Arturo because he claims that his wife will come with him to the pool if she gets wind of what we're talking about.

Anyway, we were pretty rollicking and I asked one of the guards, in honor of my birthday, if he could bring some snacks and a glass of wine. He said he'd check with the kitchen. This is a city pool, people.

A bit later I noticed a red plastic glass of ice water by my elbow which he had apparently brought me. I shared it with Arturo and I put it down empty and it was magically filled again without me noticing.

They let us stay in the water for an extra 15 minutes.

That was the sweetest birthday party I've had in years. Ice water and arguing about oral sex causing cancer.

Today I came home after the contractors had left and there was a bunch of tulips on the table next to some fancy bakery thangs. From Rob.

Sweetness. O to feel loved.