Sunday, February 08, 2015

Which of these persons should NOT be nursing off the BVM (blessed virgin Mary)?

This is my current kitchen:

And this is my current bathroom:

How does she do it, you ask?

Easy. You make sure the lights are off. You hold the yogurt container underneath your pee area. Then wipe. Drop the toilet paper in the garbage can (see by the counter) and you dump the pee in the empty sink, then rinse with hot water until the next time.  For uh, solids, you climb down the ladder into the basement where the SCARY toilet is with the freezing cold toilet seat. Or you hold it until you get to the gym. 

My actual living space has gotten smaller and smaller. And Hugo was gone for two nights. He's back and hungry. 

My living room smells strongly of wood smoke. As the fireplace is the main source of heat, no wonder. 

My birthday will be celebrated at Peggy's house because my house is, well, see above. There are several Pisces so we'll have a joint party for all of us. I hope there will be dancing and general merriment. Oh, and a cocktail or two. 

I have made two chocolate pound cakes and they are both miserable failures. If anyone reading this has a good recipe, please send it my way. The first one was way too dry and boring. The second one, sitting in my kitchen right now, is so heavy with butter and shortening, it's fairly dripping. ((sigh))

Justine didn't get a proper cake for her birthday and I'm gonna keep at it until I make her a good cake. Dammit. 

I have a date for Valentine's Day and I intend to be properly kissed that night. And that is all. No more than that. I have made strong affirmations that I will not cause myself or anyone else undue suffering in the relationship department, ever again. No impulsiveness or bad choices. As I'm post menopausal, I'm much less inclined to jump on people for sex, caution be damned. I can actually be somewhat rational. I know, I know, the mysteries of love. Well, I'm gonna give this idea a try. Can't hurt and it helps me to be friends first and maybe something more than that later. 

The real dilemma is: what shall I wear to dinner???

It's been so long since I've dressed up except to go to work. I'm out of practice. It won't do to show up in pajamas. And with my elegant living situation, it's so easy to find things and take baths (not!) and see myself in a mirror. 


Elizabeth said...

There's so much to mull over here that I don't know where to start! First of all -- the house and bathroom situation. I'm in awe, particularly of the "holding" it part. Yikes. Second -- wonderful that you're going on a date. What to wear? Go for black with some shocking as an accessory. I hope the kiss is long and slow and everything.

Ms. Moon said...

What Elizabeth said.
Do you own any red shoes? I have found that wearing red shoes somehow guarantees a good time. It is a sort of magic.
Why is that guy sucking on Mary's holy tittie?

Jo said...

I can give you a simple and foolproof and tasty chocolate cake recipe. Not pound cake just ... cake. Would this be any good to you?

4oz butter, cream with 1 cup sugar
Beat in 2 eggs, one at a time

mix in cup and 1/3 flour
1/3 cocoa
2 tsps baking powder

Add milk til runny, approx 2/3 cup
batter should just pour
Bake at erm.. gas mark 4 = 350 (that's baking temp, right?) for about 25 mins, check after 20.

My friend makes a very unsweet frosting with cocoa, butter, a little sugar. I make a buttercream with drinking choc, vanilla, butter, icing sugar... But it'll be nice with anything on it.

this also makes a lovely chocolate cake, lighter than the above, when you put half a cup (or more) of cocoa in it (and ignore the passion fruit cream etc, obviously.) Beat it a lot. You'll have to google conversions if you don't want to weigh stuff.

Good luck, happy birthday, happy partying!

Deb said...

Happy happy Valentines Day Beth, and may all your kisses be beyond compare. And don't worry, you'll be beautiful in whatever you decide to wear.