Monday, February 23, 2015

Sometimes I get so tired keeping it all going. By myself. The business of midwifery is a chore and mostly other people do it; my bookkeeper and my biller. Last year we made less money. Worrisome when I feel like we did the same amount of work with many clients. But. The insurance companies want to pay us less (!) and nickel and dime us.

Then the house weighs on me . When will it be done? How much more will it cost and where will I get extra $$ to finish it?

Low level anxiety grinding and grinding.

I will go to the UK this summer, somehow.

I guess I wish I had someone else to share financial burdens with. My staff was understanding when I told them they might have to wait for their entire paycheck until later in the month.

I am doing my best to be debt free and able to live on a reduction in my own salary and whatever SS gives me (ha!) so that retirement is possible.

Worry, worry, like a mouse nibbling away at night. I can hear it but can't find it.

Meanwhile the sun is flashing and waking up the plants. A bit too early this year. Yesterday I saw a blooming star magnolia. Too early.

Poor Boston. Sheesh.


Ms. Moon said...

We get buds and then they freeze.
I think it is as normal as can be that you worry about money. Damn insurance companies. When will we wise up and get a single-payer situation in this country?

beth coyote said...

Right? And thanks, honey.

Elizabeth said...

I hate financial anxiety -- it's a like a big black pit with nothing at the bottom.