Wednesday, February 11, 2015

You know, symptom suppression drugs REALLY WORK. I've been a hard liner for years, heat and cold, echinacea, elderberry syrup, immune tinctures and tonics, etc etc. And my colds have lasted forever, with a foghorn cough and general misery. If I'm getting sick this time, I'm using the evil day and night stuff. It's miraculous.

As I have gotten little sleep after the last baby blast (don't know why they insist on coming two or three at a time), my throat is scratchy and my nose drippy AND I have a bunch of things to do in the next few days. Dentist, visit the legislature, no Valentines' Day date-yes, you heard me, that's off. Back to the drawing board. I think as we age we get wiser but apparently not. And I don't have to worry about getting gussied up.

I'm fine, I really am fine. I notice when I'm not thinking about romance or getting close to someone in that kind of way, I'm perfectly happy. Then I notice the anxiety and self-judgment and other BS that creeps in when I'm contemplating being with someone.  Yuck. It's a lot of stress. And if I'm destined for one more go at the relationship thang, I'd like it to be, well not perfect, but pretty close. I mean, laughing would be excellent, as would ease and joy.


Ms. Moon said...

I think that no matter how close to perfect relationships come, they still suck up a whole lot of energy.
Of course, they give a lot back but still it is the way of them.
Do what you need to do to feel better.
I love you. Valentines and every day.

beth coyote said...

Thank you, Ms Mary. Your relationship is my personal prototype--but no pressure.

XXX Beth