A former client died last weekend. We delivered her two girls in 2007 and 2009. She was beautiful and sweet and kick-ass. She got sick, went into a coma and never woke up.
The memorial is the 29th and I'm going with a few folks from the clinic who knew her.
Ms Moon is rescuing kittens under her porch. Whatever we can do, we must do.
Reprieve
"We'll learn that
much of what goes on in our minds is not our fault and certainly not
our
design."
Paul Gilbert, Ph.D The Compassionate Mind
you can learn to be compassionate
just not all at once
you may want to
be compassionate
but what you really
want is a small cabin by a river
there are books to
read about compassion
I'm reading one now
the dog is eating
pieces of onion
stupid dog!
the brain has many
departments
the department of
eating
the department of
fucking
the department of
slaughtering your neighbors
you can study this
in compassion school
people sit quietly
in rows
they sniffle and
fidget
they ponder their
synapses
you feel your brain
heat up
cells jumping with
ecstasy
around you people
topple over with a bang
stupid people!
science has won
again
you're better than
the animals
it's obvious
you can bring home
the bacon!
5 comments:
I feel myself learning compassion in bits and pieces, so slowly that I don;t even realize it is happening. Most days I rage away at the injustice of it all (meaning the injustice showed to ME). One day. I keep hoping.
I am sorry to hear you lost a client. That is supposed to happen in my line of work, not yours. My heart breaks for her daughters.
All day I have needed to cry. You, with your words, allowed me to do that.
Thank you, darling sister-separated-at-birth. Thank you. And love.
What a terrible loss. Why is so much so terrible? Age-old and very silly question. Why is so much so good? You and you and you.
I bought that book, convinced of the need to learn self-compassion. I sent one to Mary too, but I have to confess, I haven't actually managed to read it yet. I shy away from listening to the things I need, sometimes.
I'm so sorry about your client, and for her little girls. So very sad.
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