Saturday, November 22, 2014

I am making coconut maple syrup cinnamon granola and my house smells DIVINE. This is what heaven smells like and I don't even believe in heaven.

 A former client died last weekend. We delivered her two girls in 2007 and 2009. She was beautiful and sweet and kick-ass. She got sick, went into a coma and never woke up.

The memorial is the 29th and I'm going with a few folks from the clinic who knew her.

Ms Moon is rescuing kittens under her porch. Whatever we can do, we must do.


                   "We'll learn that much of what goes on in our minds is not our fault and certainly not our
                                                                 Paul Gilbert, Ph.D The Compassionate Mind

you can learn to be compassionate
just not all at once
you may want to be compassionate
but what you really want is a small cabin by a river

there are books to read about compassion
I'm reading one now
the dog is eating pieces of onion
stupid dog!

the brain has many departments
the department of eating
the department of fucking
the department of slaughtering your neighbors

you can study this in compassion school
people sit quietly in rows
they sniffle and fidget
they ponder their synapses

you feel your brain heat up
cells jumping with ecstasy
around you people topple over with a bang
stupid people!

science has won again
you're better than the animals
it's obvious
you can bring home the bacon!


Birdie said...
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Birdie said...

I feel myself learning compassion in bits and pieces, so slowly that I don;t even realize it is happening. Most days I rage away at the injustice of it all (meaning the injustice showed to ME). One day. I keep hoping.

I am sorry to hear you lost a client. That is supposed to happen in my line of work, not yours. My heart breaks for her daughters.

Ms. Moon said...

All day I have needed to cry. You, with your words, allowed me to do that.
Thank you, darling sister-separated-at-birth. Thank you. And love.

Elizabeth said...

What a terrible loss. Why is so much so terrible? Age-old and very silly question. Why is so much so good? You and you and you.

Jo said...

I bought that book, convinced of the need to learn self-compassion. I sent one to Mary too, but I have to confess, I haven't actually managed to read it yet. I shy away from listening to the things I need, sometimes.

I'm so sorry about your client, and for her little girls. So very sad.