Tuesday, November 04, 2014

The whole truth

I'm going to reveal the whole truth of my current life. I figure it's time. Don't know why. Perhaps it's the dark and the rain. BTW, I just heard the term 'dark money'. Might be a poem.

1. I live in squalor. I used to  pride myself on a clean house with order and minimal fur. No longer. If I sweep once a week, it's only because there is too much shite on the floor and it's starting to look like mushrooms could grow in the living room. The dust in my house is admirable.

2. I washed the kitchen floor last week. It was FILTHY.

3. I wash clothes only because I have limited underwear and I refuse to wear the flowered ones from the cheapy store.

4. My 73 pairs of shoes (don't ask) are scattered here and there and I fall into despair if I can't find the right ones on any given day.

5. I no longer cook, an activity I used to enjoy. Refer to #1. Besides there is no counter space in my kitchen. I am eating yogurt and making green smoothies because no cooking is involved.

6. I don't bathe regularly. If you can smell a rather unwashed person, it's probably me. The partial bathroom is gross and black debris is falling into the tub all the time.

7. I don't get under the covers on my bed. I sleep on top and cover myself with my comforter. And I wear the same shirt for three days, including to sleep in. I just take off my bra. If the shirt looks ok the next day, ta-da, I wear it again.

8. I wear my hair in a ponytail because it's easy. I know I'm beginning to look like 'that sort of older person' but I don't even care.

9. I sleep on the couch until I'm too uncomfortable and go get under the comforter on the bed. I just brush all the cat detritus off the bedspread and lie down.

10. I voted in this election but I don't really care about the electoral process right now. Democracy is a figment of our collective imagination. It's all about the money. Lots and lots of money. We're living in an oligarchy. And that's a big problem I can't fix.

11. My house is perpetually cold so coming home is rather grim. The fireplace throws out enough heat to warm my socks.

12. I'm becoming feral.

13. Pretty soon, I'll be barking at the mailman and hoarding random trinkets and bits of junk. Then the hoarder program on cable will be coming for ME.

The End

PS. My contractor brought me a hatchet today to make kindling. My neighbors better not get on my bad side. I mean it.


Sabine said...

I am with you and 10 and 12, the rest is just a phase, "enjoy it".
I dimly remember moving into our house with two fighting and pissing kittens, holes in the floor and no heating because no windows etc.
I remember crying when I saw clean towels in a friend's bathroom.

Ms. Moon said...

But how else can you live in such circumstances? This is too grim.
It might be time to use the hatchet on the contractor.
Seriously though- are you okay?

Jo said...

I hope this is just the plight of a person undertaking renovations. But it does sound a little scary. I hope you ARE ok!

beth coyote said...

Sabine-crying for clean towels-totally

Mary-I'm whinging, a very fine word. At least I have the pool down the street where I can bathe and sit in the hot tub.

Jo-I"m ok, just tired of the remodel now.

Mel said...

Beth, I'm with you on 1, 2, 4, 6, 8, 10, 12 and if you count all my trinkets, 13 as well. Thanks for making me laugh and for making me fell less like a freak, sort of.
The difference is, my house is not under a remodel and I don't work all hours of the day and night bringing babies lovingly into the world. So do not judge yourself here, just remember how good it feels to take a shower or a bath and treat yourself when you can. This will end, and you will remember who you are and make that space your own magical place.

Mel said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Mel said...

I posted the stupid comment twice. I hate deletes. And then I saw the picture on your header, and laughed out loud. Still laughing, with you, not at you. :)

Marylinn Kelly said...

After Mel's comment, I looked at the header photo. Feral sounds like the appropriate response to current conditions. And, without painful detail, without remodeling, I can claim many from your list as my own. I suppose in some the veneer of civilization is a bit thinner than in others. I hope you are warm enough and well enough and that the siege lets up soon. xo