Sunday, August 11, 2013

When is it we stop being middle-aged and begin being OLD? Certain criteria don't count. For example, unbidden peeing. That can happen any time, especially if you've had children. Memory loss doesn't count either. Besides, who can remember what they got for Christmas when they were twelve? Or what they had for dinner three nights ago.? Or who is the president? Everyone knows it's Harry Truman. And infirmity can happen to anyone. I continue to trip while going up the back stairs when I'm wearing my Tevas. It's because the toes are too long, not because I have poor proprioception. So my arms that are covered with bruises  are a natural side effect.

Seeing a wild animal in the yard would count. So far, I've seen Felix, the katz and occasionally a raccoon. An urban raccoon. I mean by wild a giraffe or a rhino or a sloth. Well? And while I do wear my pajamas far into the day, I haven't yet worn them to the store or on my head.

I still dye my (white) eyebrows. I take showers frequently. I have most of my own teeth. My bifocals are 'invisible'. And they're not trifocals.

So when do we/I reach the magic oldness?



Sabine said...

Don't know nothing about any magic in oldness, where did you get that idea?
Funny thing is that I do remember what I got for Xmas when I was twelve but completely spaced out the four digits of my bank access code recently.
But I can multitask like a goddess and as long as you can dance the way you do you are not old.

Ms. Moon said...

I know. Exactly. Yes and yes and yes and yes.
And fuck it. It's all so damn cruel.

Lisa said...

So far I have seen deer, turkeys, coyotes, some large blue bird that was obviously lost and not from around here, wild chickens, geese and wolves in my yard.I have a phobia about wandering too far into the property. I decided that I was old the day that actually qualified for the senior citizen discount. My hair is grey and my eyebrows have migrated to my chin...this beast isn't for whimps.

Birdie said...

I am only 42 and today I feel old. Tired, sore and old.

Marylinn Kelly said...

It is all, every moment, every bit, a process. Eyebrows migrating to chin, yes. Gaining muscle strength in arms that will forever sag regardless. Adding stairs, one at a time, and seconds to my timed standing. It is pretty much all a mystery and I believe that is what was intended. We show up, bring what we have, test ourselves in the ways that matter most and sleep whenever indicated. This is no answer at all, just catching my breath from PT exercises, finding my way through the next moment. I hope exotic wildlife find your yard. xo

Jo said...

Ha :) Maybe it doesn't help at all, but I was pretty desperate to find a mother in my midwives. In the first, I found something else, and in the second, a sort of hellish mother in law, maybe! So... that didn't work out to well. But I suspect your clients will love you for your age and wisdom, as well as your care :)