Tuesday, April 23, 2013

Ok, so last week we admitted FIVE women to the hospital for various things and my midwifery partner is ready to quit and yesterday we had three babies, all within hours of each other including the baby I 'delivered' over the phone because the baby was coming faster than the midwife.

On speaker phone:

Dad; (quavery voice) I can see the head!

Me: Where are you?

Dad: She's in the bathroom on her hands and knees.

Me: Grab some towels, ok? Now get down and support the head as it comes out. Have your wife push (much grunting in the background interspersed with little screams). Just hold the head.

Dad: Ok, the heads out (quaver quaver)

Me: Now check for a cord, everything's ok, Anne's on her way

Dad: There's a cord around the neck!

Me: That's ok, it's stretchy, like a bungee cord, just pull it off over the baby's head (more pushing sounds) go ahead and push.

Dad: Ok! now here comes the baby..........(sounds of welcome, ah baby, hi baby.......)

Me: Dry her off with the towels, dry her face.

Dad: We are, she's dry.....

.................................no crying...............................no crying......................a little cry

Me: Welcome baby (stronger crying, parents laughing and crying). Just leave the cord alone. Anne can help with the placenta.

Me: Ok, I'll just hang on the phone til Anne arrives. Anne, are you there?

Anne: I'm here, everything's ok.

Me: Ok, congratulations you guys. Hey Dad, you're an honorary midwife now!

Afterwards, my receptionist and two clients who are waiting in the office are all wiping away tears.

Today, visits with many babies and their parents. Sometimes it be this way. We're so busy and hoping everyone is taken care of and we haven't missed anything and we're flying by the seats of our pants.

I occasionally have a wee bit of Scotch in the evening. To steady my nerves.


Ms. Moon said...

I'll never forget a home birth I was going to help with and oddly, the father avowed that he wanted nothing to with the birth at all. He would not be present. And of course the wife had a very precipitous labor and he had to deliver and he did fine. I often wonder what happened to that little family.
Oh Beth! You deserve a little Scotch at night. Thank you for sharing your stories. I am hungry for them.

Sabine said...

You are doing the best job in the world. The best and the most important.

Mel said...

Beth, I'd have more than a wee bit of Scotch in the evenings. Your life amazes me, it quickens my heart to think of what you do, and the grace and joy and bravery you do it with.
Midwives, nurses, EMT's, you're my real life heroes.

You are doing the best job in the world. xo

janzi said...

I agree with the others, you have the best job in the world.. being there to welcome a new addition to our world, and to have the bonus of being the first person to hold that precious being.. I love reading your blog, you are so calm, kind and clever.. bless you for sharing those moments.. hugs and an enormous whisky drink, from over the pond.. janzi

beth coyote said...

Mary-thanks, I went for a glass of chardonnay and went off to a birth!

Sabine-sometimes hair raising and always interesting.


janzi-I have a FULL liquor cabinet because I once mentioned that I liked smokey Scotch. My clients have fixed me up for the rest of my life!!

Marylinn Kelly said...

I am wiping away tears after reading this. We feel adrift now - where would be possibly be without the guiding hands and words of all of you. xo