Wednesday, July 22, 2009

More heat wave. I might sleep outside tonight on the deck. Last night I heard rustling by my 'water feature', a sometimes thing I have in the garden. Besides the Quan Yin statue there are these five sided rocks standing in a 'pond' (a plastic basin bigger than a foot bath) and one rock has a hole in it. At the base there is a hose attached to a pump (one of many that I've burned out). This pump is a perky pump. In fact, this is it's second year. Maybe I should have a party for it. Anyway, the hose is frequently clogged up. I take the whole thing apart, clear the clog and turn the gismo back on. It splashes away, literally. I have to add more water, a wasteful endeavor indeed. Hey, the crows hang upsidedown on it and the humming birds visit. 

So do the raccoons. I do not like raccoons. My cats avoid them. They make their weird churring sound and they move real slow, even when provoked. Especially when provoked. They love my grapes and apples and my garbage. But they really love to play in the water, my water feature which I work so hard to keep going. Off season, the pond gets completely foul so I wade in, drain it and scoop out the goop with my  hands. Yuck. I am not doing this for the benefit of the raccoons. But that's what they think, I'm sure. Not.

Usually I love animals. All my cats are rescues. Wait, I only have three, in case you were thinking I am one of those women with 27 cats and a house piled with old Life magazines. I'm not that person. 

Raccoons give me the heebeejeebees. They are cute, I know. I just have this feeling that one day there will be a raccoon uprising and they will break into our houses and attack us in our beds. Then they'll go play in the toilet while we bleed to death. I think that is their secret plan for humans. Mark my words.

I'm going to go see the Johnny Depp movie tonight. *sigh* If raccoons looked like Johnny Depp, I would turn my backyard into a pond so they would come over every night. I would definitely sleep on the deck all the time, even in winter. Ok, if there were a lot of Johnny Depps in my yard, I'd share. Honest.  


Valerie Loveland said...

Once while it was raining, a mom raccoon and her babies crossed the street, all of them trailing behind her in a line. I tried to stop and started to skid all over. I was so scared I hit them, but I looked in the rear view mirror and they were still all trailing behind her. I counted to make sure they were all there.

beth coyote said...

Aren't they so cute and cuddly? I have to get over my coon-phobia.

Can we talk opossum? Eee-yuck!

Brenda said...

They almost have opposable. Not cool.

Brenda said...

Oh, how was Mr. Depp?

Dana said...

"I just have this feeling that one day there will be a raccoon uprising and they will break into our houses and attack us in our beds."

Please write that poem. Or make Kelly write it.

Valerie Loveland said...

Ha, I love underdogs, and I love grumpy, fat animals, so I love possums!
On Cute Overload, people keep sending (adorable!) possum photos, and the person who runs the site puts the photos up, but is still not convinced they're cute.

My friend actually pet a cornered possum once, and the possum fell onto its side and played dead--its tongue out and everything. He said the fur was soft.