My Little Golden Book of Phobias

I got another speeding ticket today. In Brier. Which is a Seattle outpost where they still have mostly white people. I was driving and eating string cheese and trying to read directions backwards, you know, when you have to reverse the directions to find your way back to the freeway. And the cop was so pleasant, it was a brilliant sunny day and I mostly saw his wedding ring and the butt of his revolver and his freckled hand with reddish hairs. I didn't even get upset. I will never get the lowered insurance rate. I get close to having something disappear off my license and BAM, I get another ticket. I wasn't speeding either. I can't speed. I own an Insight hybrid powered by gerbils. But it is a weird looking car so I get stopped. When I am on the ferry, the guys wanna talk car with me. 'Hey, lady, how many miles you get?' etc.

Yesterday I went to St James Cathedral. Just to sit there in the sacristy, or whatever you call it. The main room thing. I always get a little nervous when I go into a Catholic church, like they will find out I'm a buddhist and throw me out for not using holy water. I wanted to go there because they have some really nice art and a big statue of Mary and her baby. I was thinking about all the babies in the world and feeling worried for them so I thought Mary and I could talk and she could do something, take some suggestions or whatever. This happens to me in the spring. I see all the green and tender leaves and want to protect them. I know summer will come and everything will dry out and the leaves will fall and the cats will eat a few birds and the whole catastrophe and I can't stop it, can't make it stop.

Got a poetry rejection today. I hate it when they tell me they considered a poem that didn' t make the final cut. Is that supposed to make me feel special?

At yoga class, we lay on the floor and listened to Hindu singing the whole hour. Bliss, and then my phone rang. I wanted to throttle it but because it is an inanimate object, I could't. It also wouldn't have been very nonviolent of me.