Thursday, November 21, 2013

In my truly horrifying bathrobe in bed with a sore throat. The pictures on the wall are askew and I don't care. I told Deb that my Christmas bathrobe cannot be white. White bathrobes are several shades of wrong. Besides, they get the strings hanging down. And splashes of mater paneer. I have all the Harry Potter movies and that is what I'm doing today.

I'm a holder of secrets. People tell me their stories, all kinds of stories. In confidence. Then I watch them have a baby and I see their families and friends and I get invited into their world a bit. And I hold all of that. Mostly it passes through. Sometimes it doesn't.

I don't fix anything. I just listen. Quan Yin, in one of her aspects, is called, "She who hears the cries of the world".  If my job is a spiritual practice, it is just that. I listen. I practice listening. Without judging or reacting.  My heart is always breaking. Or opening. Or both.

My brother dies again on the 26th. I'll be working that day in the clinic. Maybe a baby will be born that day. The Tibetans believe that the turn around time for reincarnation is pretty short. So Geoffrey has already come back and is living somewhere on the planet. Brother, have a better life this time. Be loved and find contentment. Be a source of joy.

4 comments:

Ms. Moon said...

To be a listener is to be a holy healer.
Love you, woman.

Betsy said...

What Ms. Merry Moon said!
xo

Mel said...

Shit Beth, this post tore me up. I hear the cries of every little creature in the world it seems, and people too. The stories people tell you can resonate for years, forever really. I'm trying to talk less and listen more.

My daughter is just getting over that cold, my son too, and my mother had pneumonia so I am looking over my shoulder hoping I don't get it, it's nasty. Hope you are turning the corner and the 26th is a day with loving memories, not sad ones. I love every word you wrote.
xo

Marylinn Kelly said...

Receiver of babies, receiver of secrets, there does seem a correlation. To be one who holds and does not judge or try to fix. You are entrusted with the sacred from so many directions, that would have to be the work of a healer. Adding my wish to yours for your brother. The mercies of Quanyin. And feel better, be warm. I'm glad you got some of our mild LA weather along with your thrift store boots. xo