My head feels like it has been underwater for a few weeks with seaweed hanging out my ears and a buzzing of the air world around me.
I've been sick with a cold and my 'gut ache' which has been a problem since I was about 15. It's been diagnosed variously as an ulcer, gall bladder 'problems' and sludgey gall bladder. I've been on an ulcer diet (which did absolutely nothing), I've visited the ER a few times when the pain was too severe- for demerol shots (heaven-addict tendencies) and fasts for two or three days with a chiropractic adjustment thrown in. Now I have a stash of vicodin from 2011 which I dole out to myself so I can sleep. Sleep, that precious thing. I wake at night with a knife in my belly. If I sit up and move around, it gets a little better. I try sleeping sitting up. Sometimes that works. For the last few nights, I've succumbed to drugs.
What causes it? Well, I wish I knew. Sometimes, I haven't eaten and food on an empty stomach will trigger it. Sometimes fatty foods. Stress, o that is a pretty good trigger. But who doesn't have stress?
I might try a cleanse. Sounds awful. Although I don't know what that entails. Probably vile herbs and green blendered drinks that taste like pond scum. And look like pond scum.
And then I 'll be healed. For good.