My Little Golden Book of Phobias

While backing out of my driveway this AM, I apparently ran my back window into the big black mirror thingy sticking out at right angles from the front of a BIG YELLOW SCHOOL BUS which I didn't see????? WTF? My whole back window collapsed in an explosion of glass and crashing. At least I didn't run over any school children. Then I would have been on the evening news with my coat over my head. I wasn't even going that fast. And I was humming away, being all smug that I would arrive at clinic on time or even a wee bit early. Nope, a trip to the body shop, a rental car (an Antelope or Cheetah or some animal). A Cougar? The seat is electric. You can push a button and it goes ((brrrrrrr)) up and down and back and forwards. I still couldn't reach the gas pedal very easily.

Then they called to tell me about the bill. I almost fainted. Actually, my mouth formed a perfect 0 and I was rendered speechless. Even now I can't tell you how much a new window is going to cost. It's between 50 and a million dollars. Closer to a million. At least I can feel good that I am employing more people to work for me.

All because I am, ahem, falling for someone, a person. A human person. And I'm in a daze. I feel happy, which is a very weird feeling for me. And my evil twin is chattering that I'm delusional and it won't last and I'm just mental. So, anyway, I back my car into busses. What next, a building? Hey, I have an idea. I'll drive into an elementary school. After the kids have gone home, of course. So. I hope this new thang doesn't lead to any more property damage.

Sheesh.