Tuesday, November 16, 2010

So this time when I heard how much my car was going to cost to repair, I didn't do a perfect Scarlett O'Hara imitation and fling my hand over my eyes and succumb to the vapors. I had a moment of clarity because I didn't do it. I didn't cause the smash. I was PARKED. The other person has to pay. For everything. And it's going to cost about five hundred thousand million more that my back window.

AND. I am driving a decent rental. It's red. I understand the dashboard. It's Japanese.

By the way, the adjuster guy and the repair guy and I are now best friends. He did suggest that I could be t-boned next but I think that's a bad idea all round. My car doesn't need to be repaired on every side. Really, it doesn't.

The dark season has come again. An anniversary I despair of. It doesn't get easier or better. We don't 'get over it'. When someone you love takes his life, the wound never heals. You forget it's there until the dark wakes up, this time of year when old wounds ache. And bleed. Again.

Geoffrey, I fear you are a hungry ghost.

6 comments:

Weave Dreamer said...

sorry about your ghost.

beth coyote said...

He haunts.

Radish King said...

I'm sorry dear Beth. I know how hard this time of year is for you.
Love
Rebecca

beth coyote said...

Thank you, dear R.

~B

Marti said...

Hello Beth darling, it has been far too long since we have spoken, and I miss you. I will always remember this time of the year and what it means for you, and I will always remember Geoffrey. Today is National Suvivors of Suicide day, I started to watch the videos they are broadcasting on-line, but the flooding of emotion was far too much for me. I think instead, I will visit the two trees I planted for my beloved Tammy,in a park by a stream. I'll plant one for Geoffrey too.

beth coyote said...

Marti sweetheart. Good to see you here. It will always hurt, won't it? Just under the surface, a little scratch and it all comes out, all the suffering...

XXX Beth