yesterday I took a walk around Seward Park and the sun was out and many people were riding, jogging, running, strollering etc. As I rounded the last turn, Rainier was shining in full snowy splendor and a guy on a bench was playing the accordion, music stand and everything. Reminded me of Mrs Federico, my old piano teacher who also taught 'accordeen'. She decided I was too skinny and would feed me spumoni ice cream after my lessons. Spumoni ice cream had little green and red bits in it and it was gross. Sometimes it was peach ice cream, also very exotic.
My writing group read too and we were so good. Once again, Martha was totally angelic (in turquoise this time). Even her FOLDER with her poems inside was turquoise. And once again, she had memorized or mostly memorized her poems. The last one was a sestina and it was truly gorgeous.
I really want to feel better. I am seeing a therapist on Monday. I have taken to sitting in my car and listening to the same song over and over. My friend Martha lent me a suicide book. I'm sure it will be a jolly read.