Saturday, February 23, 2008

and I'm still pissed at my brother for killing himself. maybe he couldn't help it. my dharma teacher said this is trauma. it sure as shit is. I didn't even know what trauma was until now. not like this. this sucks.


GoGo said...

I'm sorry you have to feel the anger from your brother's suicide. I have yet to meet a survivor of a love one who killed themselves who did not feel anger.

Its a part of the apeture caused from this kind of death...writing that will probably make the anger even more intense. with that said, i am glad you are in touch with this point it is yours and you need to know what you are going to do with your anger. Feeling it is the first step to releasing it.

With respect,

a fellow survivor.

beth coyote said...

thanks, gogo, for your continuing support. I also feel irritation, incredible sadness, some guilt...the whole tortilla.

I saw a therapist today, way expensive but I have to go, have to. I'm feeling so lonely so people like you are important, you know how it is.

GoGo said...

For sure. :)