Wednesday, August 08, 2012

To those who read here, there are tragedies we can't speak of. Right now, I vacillate between weeping and being numb and sleeping. A hornet stung me yesterday and I thought, aha, a sharp pain on my hand. I can attend to this because I can't fix the bigger problem. I can never fix the bigger problem.

Sometimes our hearts are broken so wide open, they can't be enclosed again, closed again. Some loss can't be borne.

And yet, the dog needs his walk and the chickens need to be let out of their coop. Eggs collected. Cats fed.

Remember to eat. Go to work. Listen carefully to the mothers. Attend.

When you can, visit the mountains and breathe in the trees.

My sorrow is vast. And deep.


Sabine said...

Having the cat helps, so do walks and probably also collecting eggs, though I have never tried the last one. Breathing, of course and if all else fails, just watch and wait. I find that miracles do happen all the time. Totally unexpected.

Ms. Moon said...

So often I feel the words we leave in our wakes here in these little boxes are too shallow, too unhelpful. I mean- what we can say sometimes except that we are sending love, we are holding you in our hearts?
What good does that do?
I only know this- I read this last night before I went to bed and when I woke up at 1:30, I was thinking of you.
I would never want you to hurt like this. I would never want you to experience a loss which cannot be borne.

beth coyote said...

Thank you, both of you.

janzi said...

when I get truly so low that I want to fade away, I go outside somewhere and yell at the universe and that helps... so sad you are feeling so wretched, I do hope this mood passes and you feel better again... if you know what it is causing this pain, write it down and burn it, that helps too> Janzi

Radish King said...


Marylinn Kelly said...

These are times of images, more than words. If this makes any sense to you: with a purpose in mind, you carry a child's size metal pail of smooth, flat stones. Within these elements there is a gift for you. That's all I know. No oracular claims, sometimes intuition, always a deep wish for your best outcome. xo

Mel said...

I'm so sorry to read your words, to know that sorrow has darkened your door. I'm too broken to wish for miracles or happy endings, for any of us. I just try to put one foot in front of the other and keep moving, attending to the daily chores that await. I find that pets, children, trees, mountains - they help tether the broken heart to this world. I hope there are hugs and love around you both to share the burden. Remember to hydrate, and sleep if you can. This is the only wisdom I possess in the face of tragedy.