Monday, August 29, 2011

I thought for sure I posted here more recently that I had...but time gets away from me when in baby land. All the babies are once again thriving, their parents are in love with them and they are also wondering what the fuck happened to their lives. They used to shave and eat regular meals and go to work and wear clothes without baby spew on them. We tell them and we tell them and they don't listen.

I think the not listening part is pure survival. If new parents really knew how seriously effed up their lives would become, they mighta used condoms, two or three condoms, many condoms.

And then there are the planned pregnancies. Ha, I had one of those. (hi Eden).

With hindsight and the fact that my kids are all grown and I didn't kill them, parenthood was the best ever. But, man, those first few months when you're dragging your ass around the apartment in curdled milk stained shirts and maternity pants because your regular pants won't come past your knees and your hair is rat's nest, it's not for sissies, I tell you. Somehow, you make it past the dreaded (((thoughts of killing, maiming, exposing in the snow the baby) thoughts and you all live happily ever after, until the teenage years, when you get to relive your own shame and humiliation through your child.

Fun!

3 comments:

Sabine said...

Oh yes! You said it. But in hindsight - that mysterious hindsight shit - I learned that you will never ever be so close to your child again and no matter how endless and sleepless those nights of feeding and rocking are, I tell every newborn parent I have known, enjoy the closeness because with every day this little monster/wonder is moving one step away from you and before you know it you are standing there watching the car driving off into the sunset.

beth coyote said...

And you're standing in their empty bedroom crying and pathetic and wondering what just happened..

Wendy Birdseye Pavlus said...

So true, but so hard to get through to those new parents, or my daughter in law whose 2 yr old is still nursing and she can't stand the nights and she thinks she will nurse herself off to college. It goes soooo fast and you can't see it til it's almost gone....I would have it back in an instant. So crazy wonderful it was.....