My Little Golden Book of Phobias

I am watching Olympic skiing. The skiers are going 85 miles an hour. If I skied that fast, I would seriously die. Both knees would break into a million pieces, my legs would go in different directions and my body would rip in two. There would be blood on the snow. The pieces of my body would probably never be found.

If I went that fast GOING DOWN A BIG STEEP HILL, my eyeballs would vibrate so fast they would fall out of my head, my teeth would chatter together and shatter and my wrists would disconnect from my arms so my hands, still clutching the ski poles would fly off and land on the spectators.

I would give the expression, 'garage sale' a new meaning.

Don't get me started about the luge. Why would anyone lie down on a little sled, FEET FIRST, and slide down an ice shute going 95 miles an hour? I would not do that. No, I wouldn't.