My Little Golden Book of Phobias

Birth this morning, came home and slept on the couch where I pretend I'm not really sleeping, just napping. Then I think I can fool myself tonight when I get into bed. Crank the circadian rhythms. Mixed with the old summer leaves are yellow and brown. The trees had a hell of a time with the heat wave this year. 

Feeling unhinged. Tried to get out of therapy but my perky therapist suggested another time tomorrow. If I were to go for a walk in the falling light I bet I would feel better. Visit the geese upending themselves in the lake. 

My neighbor is painting his house in sections. I look out my kitchen window at his efforts. He scrapes a 4' x 8' bit, primes and paints it. Then it sits for days, months, years, etc. until he is inspired to paint another area. Like de Kooning. Here and there. Blue. The other side of his house is all done. My side is peeling paint, blue  areas, some hanging tar paper stuff. Every time I hear the sound of the ladder I  inwardly applaud.