A true story

Drifting home in my wee blue car down the gangster highway past the Safeway and T Mobile and the 99 cent Chinese place and the collision shop where I have unfortunately been twice in two weeks, just driving along then the unmistakable sound of screeching, grinding, car bits flying from MY car because a Coupe de Ville Caddy, vintage unknown has decided to change lanes into me. Oh great. We pull over and the lady jumps out, two tone bangs, missing teeth and attitude. I call the cops and she's trying to convince me we can work this out without the police. Uh-huh. Well, I'm trying to open my driver side door, lots of creaking and car bits falling on the ground while the traffic is way too close.

Then the husband appears and he's accusing me of being anti-social (?) and they have to go pick up their kid, don't I care about their kid??? Well, don't I? I spent some time thinking about this. I am a midwife and I spent the morning with students teaching them to extract a stuck baby in a simulation lab. I do care about kids, generally.

But. Half of my car in in the road and I don't think I can drive it very far with the bumper mashed up against the tire. So, as you see, I feel conflicted. I call my insurance company and listen to their sorry noises until we get to the confirmation number, which is many numbers long. I'm beginning to feel decidedly fuzzy when I remember I'm on call and there are a few calls to clients I need to make. "Hi, tell, me what's going on, oh, I'm waiting for the police to arrive so I can get a tow and a rental car, then I'll be all set for your birth." Sheesh.

The nice policeman arrives and finds out the lady is driving with s suspended license and no insurance. Again, I feel for them-poor people in a busted Caddy with the bumper hanging off. I get to drive to my collision place after the cop jimmies the bumper with a crow bar, get my rental (a giant Buick for g-ds sake) and they go off with a citation and a ticket and more to follow from my insurance.

Now I'm on the couch with an ice pack on my neck. I'm hoping they got their kid ok and nobody goes to jail. As they were leaving, the lady came over and apologized to me. It really isn't personal. She's not drunk or on drugs. She's just poor and can't get a break.

I downloaded all of the Glee songs and that's what I'm gonna listen to. Show tunes. Well, I am an honorary faggot so I get to.

My honey is coming home with dinner and her strong hands. Sometimes I feel incredibly lucky.