My Little Golden Book of Phobias

My hands smell like earth because I generally begin weeding with gloves on and then at some point, I throw down the gloves and weed bare. It's so satisfying. Of course, my hands look like shit for a few days but who cares.

After my bike ride today, when I was all stinky and sweaty, I stopped by the nail place and had my toenails painted for $17. They're pink. I was thinking about Radish the whole time and wishing her toes could soon have a 'treatment'. And, of course, I got caught up on my pseudo-stars and their 3 million dollar dresses and their abs and boob jobs and so forth. Where would we be without People?

Anyway, the lady painting my toes was probably saying to the other employee, "Dang, this white lady sure smells and she hasn't shaved her legs and eewwwww". I mean, are we supposed to shower and shave before we go to the nail place?

My children once told me they had to learn about make-up from OTHER PEOPLE because I was such an au natural hippy.