Sunday, April 06, 2014

Some things I have learned while all my belongings are in boxes and I move in two weeks

If you know where these items are, you will be ok. If you misplace any of them, you will fall into a dark pit of despair and you will run screaming through the house, tearing at your clothes and swearing. The dog will look at you inquiringly and think you want to play. You will feel like killing the dog and then yourself.

In no particular order, the items are:

Cell phone
Night guard
Corkscrew (naturally)

I misplaced my phone twice today and had a nervous breakdown. I'm supposed to work tomorrow. We'll see how it goes. I think the car is in the garage. I sure hope it is because otherwise I have no idea where it is.


Mel said...

Oh lord, you have two weeks of looking for those things! I look for my glasses every day, and I have struggled to keep all my shit in one pile my whole life. I've tried everything, the bag with important stuff, the place where important things get put, usually a container on a counter somewhere, but still I lose things and I'm still hopeless. Glasses are the worst, I've been late to lots of things because I'm too blind to drive without them. Have you lost your glasses yet when they were on top of your head? That's a good one.
In a few weeks, you will look back and laugh I hope. Until then, they sell wine in screw top bottles now....

Radish King said...

GLASSES ARE THE WORST wallet the second. Oh honey!

Jo said... May you always have a shoe.

And god, yes to all these. I want to get these:

I read a post from someone moving country the other day that said, 'where the fucking fuck is my fucking driving licence??'

Lisa said...

Having just finished moving, I concur with what you have said. I lost my phone for 2 days and actually had nightmares about it. I finally have everything in order and places where each item should be placed. It was a difficult month.