Monday, November 14, 2016

This morning I got up very early to swim in my local pool. I got there in the dark and the parking lot was strangely empty. Hmmm. I went in and a nice young lady was sitting at a card table by the door to the pool. As I approached her, she said the pool was closed because the underwater lights weren't working. So like any mentally healthy person six days after the worst election IN THE WORLD,  I burst into tears. She reared back in alarm and gave me a free ticket to the pool at a later date... I sobbed my way out to the car and drove back home so I could shower for work. As I sat in front of my house weeping on my steering wheel, I reached a moment of clarity. Perhaps I wasn't really upset about the pool. Maybe it was for all of it and I've been holding myself from having a monumental cry over the whole damn thing. Yeah, that's probably it.

I visited a new momma a few days ago and her dog bit me. Uh, I did take it as a sign. I got a tetanus shot and had a very sore arm for a while.

I'm wearing a friggin' safety pin on my clothes.

A newly pregnant mom told me today in clinic that after 15 years, she and her husband decided to get pregnant and they did. And all the joy she was feeling has gone, like a light being extinguished.

Meanwhile my friends of color are being openly harassed on the streets of my liberal town. God only knows what's happening elsewhere. We're all so afraid.

My dreams are full of dread. And when I wake, they don't disappear. They trail me all day, ghostly and menacing.

Dear Leonard, We miss you awful.

6 comments:

Elizabeth said...

Oh god. I wrote about having my new progressive lenses get crushed by a car today, and I did the same as you. Burst into tears. I'm doing it off and on all day, and it takes herculean effort to just do anything really. We have to stay awake though, and resist. We just have to.

37paddington said...

yes. It's awful.

xo

Ms. Moon said...

I've yet to have my cry. I wonder what it'll take.

Radish King said...

I love you.

Lisa said...

This election brought the devil among us. It seems that all decency is in mourning.

Jeannine Nye said...

this election horrified the whole world with 'the donald' being elected... cannot believe the silliness of those voting for him., he is just so terrible.. I cry for your future, and also the whole world... terrible person he is... out of all the millions, you had such a small choice to choose the person to represent you all... Hopefully we shall be proved wrong.... I do hope so... meanwhile all the best, and a hundred or so hugs from the UK

Janzi