My mother had a friend names Alta Zapezik. Her apartment burned down so she came to live with us, actually in my room. She wore leopard skin capris and she had big dyed red hair. And she had a monkey, on a lease. She brought the monkey with her. She lived in my room for EVER. And she had a gay son who babysat for us, until my parents discovered he was gay. Then he couldn't babysit anymore because he would pollute us. Or something.
Was it his mom's capris? Or her all white carpets? Was it the monkey?