My Little Golden Book of Phobias

I went to a park with J in Portland (land of really polite people) and there were WOOD DUCKS. No, not Ed Wood ducks, the pretty, multicolored kind with about a thousand colors and red maroony breasts all stippled with light dots. They were beautiful and I wanted to marry all of them. Their wives/girlfriends/friends with benefits were not half so dreamy. The boys have purple, red, blue and stripes and flavors, o, who thought to make them that way? And there were a dozen or so. The Canada geese were behaving rudely, sticking out their pink tongues and gakking and chasing one another. It was just jealousy. Wood ducks are movie stars.

J and I went skiing by Mount Hood on one of those perfect days with sun and the right temperature and great snow. *sigh* Of course, I headed right off and fell halfway down a pretty big hill and could. not. get. up. So embarrassing. It's cross-country skiing, fer cripes sake. I floundered around, making pathetic little circles while looking up the hill to see if anyone was going to come barreling down and ski right over me, probably killing me. I had to take my skis off and flop over to the side of the track to put them back on AFTER getting to my feet. I was swearing and sweating. Then J showed up after missing the whole thing. I couldn't even get any sympathy. No one saw my humiliation. Maybe I wasn't humiliated. Naw, I was.

I am getting the hang of the vegan thing.

Tofu "strips" modified from the Brietenbush cookbook.

one block of extra-firm tofu, cut very thin
1/4 cup tamari
1/4 cup oil
1 tsp poultry seasoning
1 tsp onion powder ( or more of these)
1 tsp garlic powder
some curry powder
some cayenne powder
a bunch of brewers yeast

smear the bottom of a pan with the stuff

lay all the strips down, no over lap

brush with the goop, liberally

bake in 425 oven for 20-30 minutes, until slightly crispy.

yum.