My Little Golden Book of Phobias

I'm going to have a whine fest and then I will get up and go to work, which I love, I know I said it here but I am so freakin' tired right now. So we had some more babies and last night just as I was contemplating my sweet, new, slightly squishy futon bed with the soft wool topper, the pager went off again. ARRRGGGGA. The momma couldn't tell what was going on so I got in my car and went to her house to check it out. She was not in labor, thank all the birth goddesses of all time, and I came home again and fell into a sleep coma. I think I didn't even move all night. Chronic fatigue is the reason people lose their minds, go crazy, see visions, etc. New parents can testify to all this. Midwives have sleep deprivation sometimes. And if it persists, we turn into scary monsters like in Ed Wood movies, Bela Lugosi on morphine, lurching around and drooling. Fortunately, I slept ALL NIGHT and I plan to do the same tonight. When I am fully recovered, I will go hiking in the mountains, twirling in my dirndle and singing, "The Hills are Alive With the Sound of Music", which, if you think about it, would make a fine horror film. Little music notes crawling through the hills, devouring all in their path. They would be humming The Ring cycle (all zillion overblown hours of it) and gnashing their bitty pointy teeth. **shudder**