Here I admit things I don't anywhere else. I guess I'm willing to be embarrassed in a post.
I have watched Young Royals twenty eleven thousand times. It's beautiful and heartbreaking and sexy and troubling. The acting is gorgeous. Season two can't come soon enough. Like HeartStoppers. Jeezus, adolescence. As the art teacher in HeartStoppers says, "Being a teenager is terrible."
Rachel, a buddy in my chaplaincy program texted me this:
"I'm just gonna watch teen television, work at a cemetery and pretend the world doesn't exist." My sentiments exactly, well maybe not the cemetery part (part of her volunteer hours).
I still cry so often. Am I depressed? Scared? Overwhelmed? All of it? Boris Johnson is gone and that's good.
In an hour I go pick up Diane (AKA Jolene, my preferred nickname for her as she is from the south). We'll hold hands in the car, I'll cry some more, we'll walk the dog and then we'll go to the spa for soaks and massages and Korean food in their little cafe. Then we'll come back to my house and we will just be together. I can hug her and she can hug me. We'll talk and laugh and get serious about trust and love. I don't know how to do any of this and I'm not sure I ever did. Me and the teens being all awkward and clumsy and weird as we try to figure it out.
GAWD.
For fucksake I'm OLD.
Love you all.
4 comments:
Yes, being a teen is terrible indeed but oh my- I was just thinking yesterday about the ineffable thrill and wonder at holding someone's hand for the first time, that first so very awkward kiss that was so wanted. And you CAN experience those again now, you can, Beth! With all of the knowledge and wisdom you have now.
I rather envy you.
Enjoy. Be goofy. Be unafraid. Be bold. Be shy. Be...in wonderment.
P.S. I love that you call her Jolene.
I wish you'd come down and cry a bit with me. You feel far away, and I feel disconnected in general.
Elizabeth-I'm crying enough for everyone. As a friend once said of herself, "I'm old river eyes."
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