I sponsor two young women in Alanon. Alanon is a program for family and friends of alcoholics and addicts. And in my case, mental illness and suicide. You who read here know some of this.
Today one of my sponsees called to tell me that she resisted stealing a pack of printer paper from her son's school which led to a long discussion of honesty.
There is the precept in Buddhism which says that we 'undertake the precept to refrain from taking that which is not freely offered.'
Ah yes. The small and the large. We concluded that honesty can be tied to happiness. I once went to a big box store for gardening stuff and realized that I hadn't paid for a pair of clippers, about 7 bucks. I went back into the store with the clippers and paid for them. The clerk was surprised and said the store wouldn't have even known.
I would have known. A far cry from my youth when stealing was some kind of subversive act. And perhaps the clerk thought about the woman who came in and paid for a pair of clippers because she was honest..at least that day.
More difficult are interactions with others. Do I steal time and attention from my friends? Do I hijack conversations by calling attention to myself?
I think about the times I've been robbed. While I work to forgive the thieves and to let go of the objects they've stolen, I'm also aware of the vast economic disparities that creates desperation.
I think about the times I've lied, exaggerated, and obfuscated. Honesty encompasses all of life, it seems. To say what we mean, to speak plainly, but with kindness, timeliness, and humility. How often do I watch my mouth so what I say is not going to hurt others?
Honesty feels positively old fashioned.
Listening to Mozart's Requiem right now. May spring bless us all.
5 comments:
Thank you for your honest presence here. The current photo at the top of your blog moves something inside me a step in a good direction every time I look at it.
This post made me realize that there are different kinds of honesty. Or do we just tell ourselves that?
Yes, I am honest enough to be your sister when it comes to going back and paying for things I accidentally did not pay for. But am I honest in all of my dealings with others? With my words?
Not really.
But I honestly adore you.
Thank you for your questions and your thoughts. Made me think and question myself and my motives.
Thank you Beth for these thoughts. There is a very private personal feeling of clarity that comes with honesty.
In my teenage days, I was one day in a music shop with some friends when there was a city wide power cut. Pitch black darkness for a short couple of minutes or so. I was aware of my friends grabbing records and stuffing them into their school bags.
Later when life was back to normal I sat in my sister's place - she shared a house with friends - and watched as people drifted in and out showing off the goods and gear they had been able to steal during the power cut. They all thought this was hilarious and served "them" right. All I remember is that I was terrified someone would ask me what and how much I had stolen and I had nothing to show. Because I was too scared to do it.
I have told this story as a funny anecdote many times, sometimes to show off my youthful innocence, other times my ignorance, people always laughed. I still feel shame.
Your header photograph is stunning. And what profound thoughts about honesty. I strive.
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