Busted

So I got a ticket for running a red light and it was one of those camera/video things on Denny and Fairview. I just got a ticket in the mail. Wha...!!! I don't even REMEMBER running a red light but, yup, there is my car cruising through the intersection. Crap. Now I feel all paranoid, like, whatever else did I forget last week? Did I rob a bank, have an affair, run naked through my neighborhood? I could feature the naked bit, cold air on my skin...

I have been called to jury duty countless times, even though I am emotionally unstable. The last time I HAD TO APPEAR even though I said, look, I'm a midwife, I have a crazy schedule, etc. You get these bus tickets and boy o boy, riding the bus to the courthouse, whew, many recently released persons having activities around the bus stops. Then there is the cattle call for juries, very unusual kind of experience. So I was an alternate for a guy accused of assault and battery. He was sitting there at the table with his lawyer, playing with a pencil and trying to look nonchalant. I said to the guy next to me, 'he looks so guilty" and he agreed, probably an anger management problem. Then the plaintiffs name was mentioned and it was an East Indian name so then we decided it was a hate crime too. We had the guy behind bars for years. Then the judge asked if anyone had a hardship and couldn't serve. I stood up and said,"I'm a midwife, bla, bla" and he said," get outta here".

Eden changed my pictures. I must convince her to continue to amuse me.

Dr Tesla's Grocery List

1. Dirigible
2. Salt substitute
3. Scabrous leakage stain remover
4. Milk, butter, eggs
5. Box of crosshairs
6. Breath mints
7. Milk of magnesia
8. Proper nativity set (with lights)
9. Mouthwash