Two true things

Number one.

I went swimming in a purple suit that was so sad and stretched out and chlorinated that it hung off my ass so bad and as soon as I got into the locker room, I removed it and threw it away. A lady in the shower room applauded. Really.

Number two.

I am a wedding officiant and today I married a couple who wanted their wedding day to be 11-11-11. Their kids came. I delivered their kids. The mom told me she'd have another one but she probably shouldn't because of her complications with the last one. I, uh, couldn't remember any. She said I saved her. I did? Wish I could remember that! Maybe her perception is a tad different from mine. I bet that's it. I'm just an ordinary person, if midwives are ordinary, that's me. And not perfect. Not even close.

Amen